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Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v.3

Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v. 3
People have different preferences in term of shopping places and shopping experience. Many people choose to shop in malls or plazas while others like to buy goods from a traditional market. The following essay explains about benefits of both places and also expresses my preference. For a number of reasons, some people choose to purchase goods from a large marketplace. Firstly, shopping in a shopping mall is safer than that of local markets. Malls and plazas are equipped with the surveillance system and security guards ensure safety and security of customers. Secondly, shopping in a mega complex is more convenient and comfortable as most shopping malls are equipped with air conditioners that make the temperature soothing. Facilities like play zone for children, credit card payment, cineplex, food court etc. attracts many customers. However, few people still prefer local markets for the price. It is common that in a traditional market people get comparatively cheaper prices. Many unique or traditional products are not sold in modern places that are available in local markets. For examples, handmade crafts are only sold in local markets and each of the items is unique because it is a custom made product. In conclusion, it is undeniable that shopping in modern market places or in traditional markets has their own positive sides. I personally like to shop at a local market because I am a good bargainer and I could buy things at a better price. Shopping experience, price and variety of goods in a local market makes it more suitable for me to shop there more frequently.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences in term of
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shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
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shopping
experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
choose to shop in
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malls
or plazas while others like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. The following essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about benefits of both
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places
and
also
expresses my preference.

For a number of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
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goods
from a large marketplace.
Firstly
,
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shopping
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
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mall
is safer than that of
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local
markets.
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Malls
and plazas
are equipped
with the surveillance system and security guards ensure safety and security of customers.
Secondly
,
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shopping
in a mega complex is more convenient and comfortable as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are equipped
with air conditioners that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the temperature soothing. Facilities like play zone for children, credit card payment,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cineplex
, food court etc. attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers.

However
, few
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people
still
prefer
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local
markets for the
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price
. It is common that in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
comparatively
cheaper
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prices
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
unique or
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traditional
products are not sold in modern
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places
that are available in
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local
markets. For examples, handmade crafts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sold in
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local
markets and each of the items is unique
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
custom made
product.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that
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shopping
in modern
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market
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places
or in
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traditional
markets has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides. I
personally
like to shop at a
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am a
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good
bargainer and I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things at a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
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Shopping
experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more suitable for me to shop there more
frequently
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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