Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

PART 3: Do people in your country enjoy going to open-air markets that sell things like food or clothes or old objects? Which type of market is more popular? Why? Do you think markets are more suitable places for selling certain types of things? Which ones? v.1

PART 3: Do people in your country enjoy going to open-air markets that sell things like food or clothes or old objects? Which type of market is more popular? Why? Do you think markets are more suitable places for selling certain types of things? Which ones? v. 1
The changes that occur in people's lifestyles are rapidly improving in many places and in a way affects the relationships between families. In my own opinion, I totally agree that the lifestyle of people has a great impact be it negative or positive impacts. But for the essence of this essay I will be analysing the advantages that the development brought into many families and how it outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, what do we understand by the word lifestyle? It is a way of life established by a community, culture, group or individual. This includes patterns of behaviour, interaction, consumption, work, activity and interests that describe how a person spends their time. When the manner of living of people improved, the community in which this kind of people reside will develop and automatically breed into a healthy atmosphere. For example, when people have a good relationship with those who domiciled in a particular place and have a good interaction together, this will bring about a cordial relationship. Secondly, the way of life of many people as greatly improved and positively affect their family and the society at large as a result of the development through learning and acquiring knowledge. People who are knowledgeable tends to impact their family positively and ensure that their family also move in that direction. For example, people who are educated and have acquired advanced knowledge will ensure that every member of their family is well educated and when people are educated in a society, it will advance. Moreover, as these changes in people's lifestyle increase and further improve, the individual taste, dressing, culture and how well they spend their time also changes. Many people now appreciate the importance of a united family and how to train a child. In conclusion, the changes in people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly and is greatly impacting relationships between family members.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that occur in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
are
rapidly
improving in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places and in a way affects the relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has a great impact be it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for the essence of this essay I will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the advantages that the development brought into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and how it
Did you mean "outweighs"?
outweigh
the disadvantages.

Firstly
, what do we understand by the word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
? It is a way of life established by a community, culture, group or individual. This includes patterns of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, interaction, consumption, work, activity and interests that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how a person spends their time. When the manner of living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, the community in which this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reside will develop and
automatically
breed into a healthy atmosphere.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with those who domiciled in a particular place and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interaction together, this will bring about a cordial relationship.

Secondly
, the way of life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and
positively
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the society at large
as a result
of the development through learning and acquiring knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are knowledgeable tends to impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
positively
and ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in that direction.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are educated
and have acquired advanced knowledge will ensure that every member of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educated
in a society, it will advance.

Moreover
, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
increase and
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, the individual taste, dressing, culture and how well they spend their time
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
appreciate the importance of a united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and how to train a child.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
are changing
rapidly
and is
greatly
impacting relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay PART 3: Do people in your country enjoy going to open-air markets that sell things like food or clothes or old objects? Which type of market is more popular? Why? Do you think markets are more suitable places for selling certain types of things? Which ones? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts