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Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each. Which shopping experience do you prefer. . . v.4

Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each. Which shopping experience do you prefer. . . v. 4
Individuals now have preferences regarding where to shop. While a proportion of them chose to buy from malls because of its convenience, others prefer the traditional market for its freshness of food products. This essay will discuss the merits associated with both views and reach a concluding stance One major benefits of shopping in the Mall is that it is convenient for customers. Many people are engaged with white collar jobs and as such spend most of their time during the day working. They say that buying from the more is far more better than patronising located markets, because most shopping marts are open even into the dead of the night. As a result of this, they can easily branched the marts on their way home to pick up every thing they need. Mr Daniels, a banker, is a good example as he prefers buying all his goods from the shopping centres mostly after a busy day at work because of the ease at which he gets all the items on the shopping list. It is therefore more beneficial to people to shop easily from the marts. On the other hand, local market equally has its own merits. Firstly, Customers have the opportunity to purchase fresh goods from the local stores as they are brought to the market immediately they are harvested. Another advantage of local stores is that customers have the liberty to bargain for the items before buying, this can not be said of shopping centres as the goods are well labelled according to prices on the rank, hence buyers are not afforded the opportunity to beat down the price. Having had the privilege to shop in both markets, I enjoy purchasing all my goods from the traditional markets for the fact that its more cheaper as well as getting the products in their freshness. To conclude, undoubtedly shopping either in the mall or local shops has its own positive side as discussed above, however, buying from the traditional shop without any doubt, will always be a priority to me.
Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have preferences regarding where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. While a proportion of them chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience, others prefer the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for its freshness of food products. This essay will discuss the merits associated with both views and reach a concluding
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stance


One major benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the Mall is that it is convenient for customers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are engaged
with white collar jobs and as such spend most of their time during the day working. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
from the more is far
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
than
Possible spelling mistake. 'patronising' is British English.
patronising
located markets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
marts are open even into the dead of the night.
As a result
of this, they can
easily
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "branch"
branched
the marts on their way home to pick up every thing they need. Mr Daniels, a banker, is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example as he prefers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
mostly
after a busy day at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
at which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
all the items on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
list. It is
therefore
more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
easily
from the marts.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
equally
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
Firstly
, Customers have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores as they
are brought
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
immediately they
are harvested
. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores is that customers have the liberty to bargain for the items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
, this can not
be said
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are well labelled according to prices on the rank,
hence
buyers are not afforded the opportunity to beat down the price.

Having had the privilege to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in both markets, I enjoy purchasing all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from the traditional markets for the fact that its
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
getting the products in their freshness.

To conclude
,
undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
either in the mall or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side as discussed above,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
from the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
without any doubt, will always be a priority to me.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each. Which shopping experience do you prefer. . . v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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