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Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v.2

Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v. 2
These days shopping centres have become increasingly popular than local markets because of different advantages they offer. Despite its advantages, some people still prefer local markets. This essay will discuss the advantages of each type of marketplace and state my preference for shopping. On the one hand, many people select shopping malls due to the better environment and variety of shops at a single place. For busy people time-saving is the key factor and they more frequently go to shopping malls than local markets. As shopping malls offer a variety of goods under one roof and ensure better quality rich consumers prefer to buy products from them. Moreover, the environment of shopping malls is way better than that of local markets. Convenient ways of payment methods, such as credit cards, is another great advantage that most shopping malls offer. Since plastic money offers more security and convenient ways of shopping, people prefer to go to a shopping centre where these types of payments are accepted. It is often said that shopping malls are the future of shopping while local markets are the concept of bygone days. On the other hand, local markets also offer a wide range of advantages and products to people. In fact, the freshness of vegetables and fruits could be a great advantage of local markets why so many people still prefer local markets over shopping centres. At the same time, the price difference is another reason many people think local markets are better places for shopping. It is indeed true that the local market offers a comparatively cheaper price. Therefore, these advantages exemplify the necessity of local market to the people and why people prefer it. To conclude, shopping centres and local markets both offer different positive experiences to the consumers and both need to be in form because of their different benefits. I personally believe shopping centres produce better shopping experience for me than local markets as I most frequently shop in a shopping mall than in a local market.
These days
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shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have become
increasingly
Use "(popular)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
popular
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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advantages
they
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offer
. Despite its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of each type of marketplace and state my preference for shopping.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
due to the
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better
environment and variety of shops at a single place. For busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
time-saving is the key
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
factor and
they more
frequently
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
under one roof and ensure
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better
quality rich consumers
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prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from them.
Moreover
, the environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. Convenient ways of payment methods, such as credit cards, is another great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
. Since plastic money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
more security and convenient ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
where these types of payments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
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shopping
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malls
are the future of
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shopping
while
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local
markets are the concept of bygone days.

On the other hand
,
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local
markets
also
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offer
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and products to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact, the freshness of vegetables and fruits could be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. At the same time, the price difference is another reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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local
markets are
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better
places for
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shopping
. It is
indeed
true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
a
comparatively
cheaper price.
Therefore
, these
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advantages
exemplify the necessity of
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
to the
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people
and why
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
it.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
experiences to the consumers and both need to be in form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits. I
personally
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience for me than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets as I most
frequently
shop in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
73Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. What are the advantages of each? Which shopping experience do you prefer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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