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Some people prefer doing sports on their own, such as running, while others like to do sports in groups. Which one do you prefer? v.1

Some people prefer doing sports on their own, such as running, while others like to do sports in groups. Which one do you prefer? v. 1
Some people prefer to attend sport activities needed to do it as a group, others prefer to participate in sports which are done solely. There are various pros and cons in both of the decisions. However, I am fond of sports that do not depend on the group. First and foremost, it is more convenient to do these sports. To do group activities, people need to have an accurate plan for it and if all of them were available on a particular day, they would do it. Take a football as an example, in a football, football lovers need to find twenty-two people to enable them to play with each other. Without any doubt, time scheduling of this large group is an arduous task needed allocating a lot of time and likelihood of failure and canceling the program is a lot. On the contrary, in the single member sports, all that matters is your time. If you wanna do running as an example, you need just go to a park and initiate it. It should be stressed that group sports need more facilities that not only it is not available in any place, but also sport enthusiastic individual should pay a considerable amount of money to equip themselves with it. However, doing sport individually would not cost too much and easily accessible in any place. In the previous example, all that running needs is a park and a pair of proper shoes. More importantly, your success would not depend on talent and diligence of others. If people do group sports no matter how much hard working and gifted they are, if they do not have proper teammates, the chance of success is not a lot because a mistake by the members could have an irreversible consequence. For example in the final game of football champions league which was between Real Madrid and Liverpool, Although the most players of Liverpool did well, two severe mistakes by Liverpool goal-keeper ruined everything and they lost the game eventually. It should be stressed that in the sports like power-lifting you are on your own and in the case of being diligent and put efforts as much as possible, you will ultimately reach your goal. In a nutshell, as a sports worm, I prefer to do sports that are considered as a solo person oriented. I feel this way because I can participate in without any hindrance and the path of being successful is more smooth that group' s sports.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities needed to do it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, others prefer to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
are done
solely
. There are various pros and cons in both of the decisions.
However
, I am fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that do not depend on the group.

First
and foremost, it is more convenient to do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have an accurate plan for it and if all of them were available on a particular day, they would do it. Take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
lovers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to find twenty-two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enable them to play with each other. Without any doubt, time scheduling of this large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is an arduous task needed allocating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and likelihood of failure and canceling the program is a lot.
On the contrary
, in the single member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, all that matters is your time. If you
The word 'wanna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
wanna
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go running".
do running
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go to a park and initiate it. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more facilities that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is not available in any place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
enthusiastic individual should pay a considerable amount of money to equip themselves with it.
However
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
individually
would not cost too much and
easily
accessible in any place. In the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, all that running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
is a park and a pair of proper shoes.

More
importantly
, your success would not depend on talent and diligence of others. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
no matter how much
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and gifted they are, if they do not have proper teammates, the chance of success is not a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a mistake by the members could have an irreversible consequence. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
in the final game of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
champions league
which was between Real Madrid and Liverpool, Although the most players of Liverpool did well, two severe mistakes by Liverpool goal-keeper ruined
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
everything and
they lost the game
eventually
. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like power-lifting you are on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and in the case of being diligent and put efforts as much as possible, you will
ultimately
reach your goal.

In a nutshell, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
worm, I prefer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
are considered
as a solo person oriented. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can participate in without any hindrance and the path of being successful is more smooth that
Possible spelling mistake found.
group&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer doing sports on their own, such as running, while others like to do sports in groups. Which one do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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