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Some people like to watch the news on television. Other people prefer to read the newspaper. Still others use their computers to get the news. How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choic v.3

Some people like to watch the news on television. Other people prefer to read the newspaper. Still others use their computers to get the news. How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choic v. 3
In the contemporary era, most females tend to secure their careers firstly in their early years of ages, which contribute to the fact that more females tend to marry and become mothers in their late thirties. As one of feminists, I definitely opine that women will benefit more if they start their families later. However, under certain situation, marrying and having babies in old ages also cause negative impacts to them. To begin with, it is easy for women to focus on their careers and establish their financial independence if they stay single until later in their thirties. Firstly, single women will be more flexible and competitive in the workforce. They are as competent as males in a job setting without the restriction for children and families. Children and families may be obstacles for women's careers because taking care of children and doing household cores all will distract their attention and energy from their jobs. Besides, postponing getting marriage and giving birth to children will assist females to focus to earn money so that they will be able to provide a better living environment for their children and prevent stresses relevant to financial issues. Researches indicate that many housewives worldwide still rely on their husbands for a living. If women marry early, there is a higher chance for them to become housewives due to traditional views. Obviously, more women have right to live in the lifestyle that they prefer. This is the result of human civilization and feminism. However, giving a birth in late 30s or early 40s will be a high risk pregnancy, which increases the risk for mothers or babies to suffer from health conditions such as high blood pressure in pregnant women or Down syndrome in babies. The mortality rate of pregnant women is higher when they are over 35 years old. Moreover, women becoming a mother in their later 30s have a tougher time to adapt their new roles than those in their early 20s. In conclusion, due to feminism activities, nowadays, females will have equal opportunities in the workforce. This may contribute to the phenomenon that they tend to marry and give birth in their later 30s with the above reasons. However, women marrying and being mother in late 30s will also have some drawbacks for their health and their children's health as well. Therefore, females should choose the proper moment for themselves to start their families individually.
In the contemporary era, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
tend to secure their careers
firstly
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
years of ages, which contribute to the fact that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
tend to marry and become mothers in their late thirties. As one of feminists, I definitely opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will benefit more if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
.
However
, under certain situation, marrying and having babies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ages
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to focus on their careers and establish their financial independence if they stay single until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their thirties.
Firstly
, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will be more flexible and competitive in the workforce. They are as competent as males in a job setting without the restriction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
may be obstacles for women's careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and doing household cores all will distract their attention and energy from their jobs.
Besides
, postponing getting marriage and giving birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
to focus to earn money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be able to provide a better living environment for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
relevant to financial issues. Researches indicate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
housewives worldwide
still
rely on their husbands for a living. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
marry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, there is a higher chance for them to become housewives due to traditional views.
Obviously
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the lifestyle that they prefer. This is the result of human civilization and feminism.

However
, giving a birth in late 30s or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
40s will be a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
pregnancy, which increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for mothers or babies to suffer from health conditions such as high blood pressure in pregnant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or Down syndrome in babies. The mortality rate of pregnant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is higher when they are over 35 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
30s have a tougher time to adapt their new roles than those in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
20s.

In conclusion
, due to feminism activities, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
will have equal opportunities in the workforce. This may contribute to the phenomenon that they tend to marry and give birth in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
30s with the above reasons.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
marrying and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
in late 30s will
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for their health and their children's health
as well
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
should choose the proper moment for themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
individually
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to watch the news on television. Other people prefer to read the newspaper. Still others use their computers to get the news. How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choic v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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