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Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important Discuss both view points and give your own opinion v.1

Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important 1
These days, the most people are undergoing from health issues caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be recovered with modern medicines. It is thought by some people that it should be returned to traditional pharmaceutical should be encouraged. I agree with this statement that people should return to past pharmaceutical. Let’s begin by looking at the merits of the argument. In recent years, people need past medication because it is good. Moreover, in the past, was more and more ancestors which were doctored. For example, ABU ALI IBN SINO, this person was a popular doctor in the world because he did many operations and created many and many drugs and these drugs were beneficial for people’s health, therefore many people want traditional medicines. However, in the past, people treated patients consequently with plants but hurt ably. And especially people used the ancient plants of the mountain which were most important and helpful. Turning to the other side of the essay. Nowadays, people are ailing as a cause of modern medicine because, these are not useful and vital for humans’ strength because, to contemporary people it is uninteresting therefore presents are being ached. These days, the labours of the manufactures are not producing beneficial drugs and also, doctors are not healing patients beneficially because they need money therefore they do not curious with others’ health. And nurses do not wash syringes freshly and while the injecting they open the employee and after the injecting they do not close them with cotton therefore people do not want modern technological medicines. Overall, I personally believe that people do not appeal the new prescription because they may influence to their life and may kill them therefore the best cure is traditional.
These days, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are undergoing from health issues caused by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
lifestyle which cannot
be recovered
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
medicines. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it should
be returned
to traditional pharmaceutical should
be encouraged
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
pharmaceutical.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the merits of the argument. In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
medication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Moreover
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, was more and more ancestors which
were doctored
.
For example
, ABU ALI
Possible spelling mistake found.
IBN
Possible spelling mistake found.
SINO
, this person was a popular doctor in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
operations and created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drugs and these drugs were beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want traditional medicines.
However
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treated patients
consequently
with plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hurt
ably
. And
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the ancient plants of the mountain which were most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and helpful.

Turning to the other side of the essay. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ailing as a cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
medicine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, these are not useful and vital for humans’ strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, to contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is uninteresting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
presents are
being ached
. These days, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
of the manufactures are not producing beneficial drugs and
also
, doctors are not healing patients
beneficially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
they do not curious with others’ health. And nurses do not wash syringes
freshly
and while the injecting they open the employee and after the injecting they do not close them with cotton
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technological medicines.

Overall
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not appeal the new prescription
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may influence to their life and may kill them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
the best cure is traditional.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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