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754 second some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v.1

754 second some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v. 1
Vaccination is a form of a medical service wherein, an individual is injected with a mild form, mostly inactive, of a particular disease so that host body immunizes itself from that disease by generating antibodies to fight against it. Some would argue that vaccinating, although unnecessary, might even prove fatal for the younger section of society. I agree that vaccination programs are necessary, even in some cases might be dangerous. Their role in preventing unidentifiable disease and containing the outburst of epidemics outweighs its disadvantage of being dangerous. Vaccines are basically bacteria or virus cultures prepared in laboratories which are inactive or incapable of infecting the host body. However, in few people with a weak immunity, especially the young children, their bodies are unable to produce antibodies to restrict these foreign particles and thus cause their bodies to be infected. Or in some cases the vaccine culture may not be completely inactive and may manifest in the host body upon entry and may prove dangerous. A recent report published by WHO, stated that around 8% of all children under the age group of 6 years have contracted some disease due to vaccination. On the other hand, many diseases, such as smallpox or polio, remain undetected in the host body until they show some visible symptoms by the time its incurable. Such unidentifiable and easily transmittable diseases can infect a numerous other people and lead to epidemics. For instance, in India small pox has been known to have killed millions of people in the past and currently India has completed eradicated it undertaking vaccination drives. In conclusion, vaccination programs are necessary to help nations completely eradicate preventable diseases
Vaccination is a form of a medical service wherein, an individual
is injected
with a mild form,
mostly
inactive, of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
immunizes itself from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
by generating antibodies to fight against it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that vaccinating, although unnecessary, might even prove fatal for the younger section of society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that vaccination programs are necessary, even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. Their role in preventing unidentifiable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and containing the outburst of epidemics outweighs its disadvantage of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

Vaccines are
basically
bacteria or virus cultures prepared in laboratories which are inactive or incapable of infecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
However
, in few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a weak immunity,
especially
the young children, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
are unable to produce antibodies to restrict these foreign particles and
thus
cause their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
to
be infected
. Or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases the vaccine culture may not be completely inactive and may manifest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
upon entry and may prove
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. A recent report published by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, stated that around 8% of all children under the age group of 6 years have contracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
due to vaccination.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, such as smallpox or polio, remain undetected in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
visible symptoms by the time its incurable. Such unidentifiable and
easily
transmittable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can infect a numerous other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and lead to epidemics.
For instance
, in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pox has
been known
to have killed millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the past and
currently
India has completed eradicated it undertaking vaccination drives.

In conclusion
, vaccination programs are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nations completely eradicate preventable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay 754 second some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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