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Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. What do you prefer? v.2

Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. What do you prefer? v. 2
It is irrefutable to say that social media are playing an important role today; it has not only made communication easier, but also faster and more reliable. Social media marketing can be defined as the use of social media to communicate and increase brand value. Some people are of the opinion that social media marketing influences what consumers buy, however, there are a few who would argue otherwise. This essay gingerly delineates both the viewpoints in the following paragraphs. A recent study shows that 50% of the population have a social media presence, this makes it easy for brands to target a large chunk of population via various networking sites. Moreover, algorithms are used to display recurring advertisements based on the user's recent search history; this makes online marketing more effective. To substantiate further, a recent study proved that 35% of youngsters in the age group of 19 to 28 years were more likely to buy a product when an advertisement is displayed multiple times on different platforms. On the other hand, older people may not be well acquainted with the internet; some may even be averse to social networking sites. Thus, the target population of marketing online usually excludes the older age group. To back my point further, a study shows that 40% of them prefer shopping in brick and motor shops rather than doing the same online. Furthermore, though the internet has become accessible worldwide, there are still a few places where accessibility is limited; social media marketing would be impractical in such situations. In a nutshell, social media marketing undeniably influences what consumers buy, companies all around the world are monetizing on this and have successfully increased their brand reach and value. However, the target population may not entirely include people above the age of 50 years.
It is irrefutable to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
; it has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made communication easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
faster and more reliable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
can
be defined
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to communicate and increase brand value.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
influences what consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
however
, there are a few who would argue
otherwise
. This essay
gingerly
delineates both the viewpoints in the following paragraphs.

A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
presence, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for brands to target a large chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
via various networking sites.
Moreover
, algorithms are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to display recurring advertisements based on the user's recent search history; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
more effective. To substantiate
further
, a recent study proved that 35% of youngsters in the age group of 19 to 28 years were more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a product when an advertisement
is displayed
multiple times on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platforms.

On the other hand
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not be well acquainted with the internet;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may even be averse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites.
Thus
, the target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
online
usually
excludes the older age group. To back my point
further
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 40% of them prefer shopping in brick and motor shops
rather
than doing the same online.
Furthermore
, though the internet has become accessible worldwide, there are
still
a few places where accessibility
is limited
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
would be impractical in such situations.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
undeniably
influences what consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
all around the world are monetizing on this and have
successfully
increased their brand reach and value.
However
, the target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
may not
entirely
include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
above the age of 50 years.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. What do you prefer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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