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Some people like to study in public places where there are other people around. Others prefer to study in places where there are few or no people around. Which kind of place do you prefer? Explain why. v.2

Some people like to study in public places where there are other people around. Others prefer to study in places where there are few or no people around. Which kind of place do you prefer? Explain why. v. 2
While many people think that going to health gatherings and fitness centres are good for their health management, others believe that aerobic activities such as walking and climbing has more effect. This essay will discuss why visiting gyms and relating to others are important in weight reduction, also why not being ambulatory is important. However, I think health functions and going to the gym is more effective. On the one hand, going to gatherings for fitness will make an individual consistent with their body goal. Seeing people of like minds, and freedom to express inabilities in achieving healthy goals will be stated because desire to meet the expected aim of going will continually be emphasized. Besides, other therapies will be advised and the motivation to always be among others would increase. To illustrate, the president of Nigeria was obese, but frequent gym and mingling with people helped him to attain his normal body weight. Therefore, going to these places consistently is effective on the well-being. Physical movement, such as walking, and climbing on the other hand, will help individual to gradually monitor their health. A drastic measure of health is detrimental, so it is not acceptable in weight loss or gain, hence simple activity will systematically assist one in maintaining a good health. More specifically, walking and climbing does not have a negative effect on their cardio, as the heart is not being stressed. For example, most hospitals told their patients to do their exercise by walking or climbing since its effect is known for the friendly and positive results has been recorded from this. Consequently, these types of exercise are beneficial to well-being. However, in my opinion, I think being in the midst of people, like going to clubs or gyms helps to keep fit. This is because it will assist in expending all calories that are consumed in the gym, also by giving information on how to control meal portion. For instance, a meal time-table is given by an expert in the gym. So, adhering to this will make health management achievable. In conclusion, although some think health clubs and gyms are good, others believe walking and climbing is most preferable. Ultimately, I believe the clubs and gyms are good ways to maintain body weight.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
gatherings and fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
management, others believe that aerobic activities such as walking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
has more effect. This essay will discuss why visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
and relating to others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
reduction,
also
why not being ambulatory is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
functions and going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is more effective.

On the one hand, going to gatherings for fitness will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual consistent with their body goal. Seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of like minds, and freedom to express inabilities in achieving healthy goals will
be stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
aim of going will
continually
be emphasized
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
therapies will
be advised
and the motivation to always be among others would increase. To illustrate, the president of Nigeria was obese,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and mingling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to attain his normal body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
Therefore
, going to these places
consistently
is effective on the well-being.

Physical movement, such as walking, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individual to
gradually
monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A drastic measure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is detrimental,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not acceptable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
loss or gain,
hence
simple activity will
systematically
assist one in maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. More
specifically
, walking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
does not have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their cardio, as the heart is not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
For example
, most hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
their patients to do their exercise by walking or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
since its effect
is known
for the friendly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results has
been recorded
from this.
Consequently
, these types of exercise are beneficial to well-being.

However
, in my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
being in the midst of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, like going to clubs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will assist in expending all calories that
are consumed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
,
also
by giving information on how to control meal portion.
For instance
, a meal time-table is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by an expert in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, adhering to this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
management achievable.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
clubs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, others believe walking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
is most preferable.
Ultimately
, I believe the clubs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ways to maintain body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to study in public places where there are other people around. Others prefer to study in places where there are few or no people around. Which kind of place do you prefer? Explain why. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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