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Many People Believe That Media Coverage Of Celebrities Has A Negative Effect On Children v.1

Many People Believe That Media Coverage Of Celebrities Has A Negative Effect On Children v. 1
In today’s world, everybody is fascinated by the glamour and the people associated with it are idolized everywhere. Celebrities are given huge importance due to their social standing and the media cash in on their publicity. This essay will argue how media coverage of celebrities has adverse effects on the younger generation. In this era of social media, youngsters follow their favourite celebrities across various platforms and are influenced by them. These children look at celebrities as their role models and often attempt to adapt their lifestyles and habits. For instance, cosmetic surgeries have increased by 35% after the Kardashian sisters admitted to going under the knife. Girls, as young as 15 years, are flocking to surgery clinics to mimic the features of their favourite celebrities. Publicising such trends not only risks the health of youngsters, but also instils in them the idea that physical appearance is more important than character and personality. Another problem caused by this obsession with celebrities is that they make young people feel inferior. For example, celebrities are famous for their extravagant lifestyle. They flaunt a new dress and hairstyle every day. Some of them even have a new boyfriend or girlfriend every two weeks. If youngsters blindly follow this lifestyle of celebrities it can have a negative effect on their future. Media should keep a close check on what they broadcast to prevent the generation of tomorrow from getting brainwashed by the negative elements in the society. In a nut-shell, this essay completely agreed with the fact that media coverage of celebrities has negative effects on children. Indeed, it is important to restrict content that can harm children and parents should keep a close check on their kids idolise celebrities.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, everybody
is fascinated
by the glamour and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
associated with it
are idolized
everywhere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
huge importance due to their social standing and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
cash in on their publicity. This essay will argue how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
has adverse effects on the younger generation.

In this era of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, youngsters follow their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
across various platforms and
are influenced
by them. These children look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as their role models and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attempt to adapt their lifestyles and habits.
For instance
, cosmetic surgeries have increased by 35% after the Kardashian sisters admitted to going under the knife. Girls, as young as 15 years, are flocking to surgery clinics to mimic the features of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Publicising' is British English.
Publicising
such trends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
the health of youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'instils' is British English.
instils
in them the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that physical appearance is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than character and personality.

Another problem caused by this obsession with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel inferior.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their extravagant lifestyle. They flaunt a new dress and hairstyle every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them even have a new boyfriend or girlfriend every two weeks.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
youngsters
blindly
follow this lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
it can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on what they broadcast to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the generation of tomorrow from getting brainwashed by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
elements in the society.

In a nut-shell, this essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on children.
Indeed
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to restrict content that can harm children and parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on their kids
Do not mix variants of the same word ('idolise' and 'idolize') within a single text.
idolise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many People Believe That Media Coverage Of Celebrities Has A Negative Effect On Children v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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