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Some people like to shop in large grocery stores and department stores. Other people prefer to shop in small specialty stores or shops. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

Some people like to shop in large grocery stores and department stores. Other people prefer to shop in small specialty stores or shops. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
Fossil fuels like coal, oil and natural gas are the primary source of energy in the world. These fuels have fuelled almost all major industries and economies across the globe. Sadly, there are no international rules to control the amount of fossil fuels used in any region of the world. Many experts have proposed the formation of an international board to address this issue. I strongly agree with this view. To begin with, the world has overused fossil fuels without paying attention to their detrimental effects on our natural environment. Global warming and soaring air pollution levels have become a threat to our planet and our existence. All nations are experiencing a change in their climate. Their citizens are suffering from diseases caused by hazardous air pollutants. Unquestionably, these are international problems and resolving them is beyond the capacity of any one nation. Furthermore, the reservoirs of coal, crude oil and natural gas are depleting at a rate faster than ever before. The day when these sources will not be able to support us is not very far. In fact, declining production levels have already weakened the economies of some major oil producing countries. Other countries are also witnessing an economic downturn. The situation is alarming. Definitely, the way forward is global co-operation. An international panel is needed to resolve the problems caused by excessive consumption of oil, gas and other similar fuels. Economists and environmentalists should form the main body of the committee. Strict rules about the use of fossil fuels must be enforced in all countries irrespective of their economic position. In addition, the committee should focus on the research and development of sustainable means of energy. To conclude, the unquenched thirst for development and the rise in the global population have exacerbated immense pressure on fossil fuels. Personally, I believe that sincere efforts at a global level are required to mitigate the problems that excessive exploitation of non-renewable fuels has caused.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
like coal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and natural gas are the primary source of energy in the world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
have fuelled almost all major industries and economies across the globe.
Sadly
, there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to control the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in any region of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts have proposed the formation of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
board to address this issue. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the world has overused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
without paying attention to their detrimental effects on our natural environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
warming and soaring air pollution levels have become a threat to our planet and our existence. All nations are experiencing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their climate. Their citizens are suffering from diseases caused by hazardous air pollutants.
Unquestionably
, these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
problems and resolving them is beyond the capacity of any one nation.

Furthermore
, the reservoirs of coal, crude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and natural gas are depleting at a rate faster than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The day when these sources will not be able to support us is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far. In fact, declining production levels have already weakened the economies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
producing countries. Other countries are
also
witnessing an economic downturn. The situation is alarming.

Definitely, the way forward is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
co-operation. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
panel
is needed
to resolve the problems caused by excessive consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, gas and other similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. Economists and environmentalists should form the main body of the committee. Strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be enforced
in all countries irrespective of their economic position.
In addition
, the committee should focus on the research and development of sustainable means of energy.

To conclude
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unquenched
thirst for development and the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
population have exacerbated immense pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
Personally
, I believe that sincere efforts at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
level
are required
to mitigate the problems that excessive exploitation of non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
has caused.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people like to shop in large grocery stores and department stores. Other people prefer to shop in small specialty stores or shops. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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