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Describe a photograph that you have taken yourself or seen in a book, which you particularly like. you should say: what the picture shows, where you saw it, why you particularly like it v.1

Describe a photograph that you have taken yourself or seen in a book, which you particularly like. you should say: what the picture shows, where you saw it, why you particularly like it v. 1
There have been discussions recently whether the government should use large sums of money to maintain old buildings of the past. Many people claim that this is an important task and the expenses shouldn’t matter. In this essay, I will give you my opinion and why I agree with this statement. To begin with, it costs a tremendous amount of resources to maintain ancient and old buildings. Even though, it might seem economically inefficient to invest in the restoration and maintenance of these historical buildings, they have a lot of value for the culture. For instance, the Greeks are proud of their culture and they have a great interest in showing it through the historical buildings like the Acropolis. These ancient structures give the people of Greece a common identity and a feeling of fellowship. Furthermore, surveys have shown that countries that have maintained many buildings of historical value also have a better understanding of their ancestry, which can be a great attribute in the perseverance of their culture. Additionally, keeping historical buildings intact can give huge boosts in tourism. Culture and history are two of the most important factors for tourists to choose their destination. For example, when Japan opened for foreign visitors to come in and see the temples from the Edo era, tourists swarmed into the country. Thus, there can be economic advantages in using money to protect old buildings of the past. In conclusion, I believe that the maintenance of historical buildings is important for cultural and historical identity, as well as it can have positive effects on the economy.
There have been discussions recently whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
large sums of money to maintain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that this is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task and the expenses shouldn’t matter. In this essay, I will give you my opinion and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it costs a tremendous amount of resources to maintain ancient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Even though
, it might seem
economically
inefficient to invest in the restoration and maintenance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
value for the culture.
For instance
, the Greeks are proud of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they have a great interest in showing it through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
like the Acropolis. These ancient structures give the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Greece a common identity and a feeling of fellowship.
Furthermore
, surveys have shown that countries that have maintained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
value
also
have a better understanding of their ancestry, which can be a great attribute in the perseverance of their culture.

Additionally
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
intact can give huge boosts in tourism. Culture and history are two of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for tourists to choose their destination.
For example
, when Japan opened for foreign visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the temples from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edo
era, tourists swarmed into the country.
Thus
, there can be economic advantages in using money to protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of the past.

In conclusion
, I believe that the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for cultural and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
identity,
as well
as it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a photograph that you have taken yourself or seen in a book, which you particularly like. you should say: what the picture shows, where you saw it, why you particularly like it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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