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Some people like to communicate by e-mail and voice mail other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face which type of communication do you prefer and why? be sure to include specific details and examples to support your opinion v.1

Some people like to communicate by e-mail and voice mail other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face which type of communication do you prefer and why? be sure to include specific details and examples to support your opinion v. 1
It is quite obvious that the rate of crimes is increasing day by day in all societies in the world, but I personally do believe that there are a lot which can be done by both the governments and the individuals to reduce the crimes in communities. A lot of important measures, on the one hand, can be taken by the governments in order to reduce or even eradicate different types of crimes. First, governments can introduce more police forces everywhere to monitor people's activities and stop them from committing crimes. Second, the state can apply new technologies such as surveillance cameras in the streets, shopping centres, restaurants and all public places to cease criminals. Third, strict punishments on criminals can have really preventive and deterrent effects on all age groups in society, so by using harsh penalties like imprisonment, physical or financial punishments the rate of crimes can be decreased. On the other hand, individuals in societies can be of great help to cut down on the number of crimes being committed. To my mind, the overwhelming majority of people tend to participate in activities, assisting the government to keep the society a safe place for their own families and the others and for all age groups. Take as an example, most people by reporting the problems to police can play an indispensable role in crime-prevention activities. In addition, when people they care about decreasing heinous crimes in cities, it can be sort of a preventive action to harness well the situation in society by government as well. To conclude, in order for a society to be a safe place to live in, all society members, including the governments and people must take the necessary measurements to keep it a crime-free place.
It is quite obvious that the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is increasing day by day in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
do believe that there are a lot which can
be done
by both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and the individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in communities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
measures, on the one hand, can
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or even eradicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can introduce more police forces everywhere to monitor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Second, the state can apply new technologies such as surveillance cameras in the streets, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, restaurants and all public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to cease criminals. Third, strict punishments on criminals can have
really
preventive and deterrent effects on all age groups in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by using harsh penalties like imprisonment, physical or financial punishments the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
be decreased
.

On the other hand
, individuals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
can be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
being committed
. To my mind, the overwhelming majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to participate in activities, assisting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
families and the others and for all age groups. Take as an example, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by reporting the problems to police can play an indispensable role in crime-prevention activities.
In addition
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they care about decreasing heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in cities, it can be
If 'sort' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "sort of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
sort of a
preventive action to harness well the situation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as well
.

To conclude
, in order for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to be a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
members, including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the necessary measurements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it a crime-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to communicate by e-mail and voice mail other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face which type of communication do you prefer and why? be sure to include specific details and examples to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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