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73)Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

73)Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The major crimes have offended by the strong law. In society’s opinion, if a murderer gets a fair to the penalty, he will be more guilty and regret his failure. Otherwise, some people think that a murderer who gets in jail for the rest of his breath is the best sanction. I think life in prison is the right action to make criminals will be most unpleasant. Firstly, enjoy the rest of the time in jail will be very dull and terrible. It feels more isolated from the group and the prisoner will realize his mistake even though the victim and the victim’s relatives still not apologize for him. Secondly, this kind of penalty gives a murderer to be a better character through regret all his crimes and do the right and useful thing in that abundant place. In other words, a person who arrested because of the major crimes will get some horrible words of the victim and its relatives and will be isolated from his own family. The condition to recognize guy as a criminal is more awful and shameful, eventually, it has to pass in the remains life of the killer. Although it is difficult, he can do useful things, pray and raise for forgiveness, and socialize with other prisoners in a good way. Additionally, it makes him will be a kind individual for himself. On the other hand, give the death punishment to the worst arrested person will not give a social effect for himself. Even though this way is very rude, perhaps he does not regret and feels guilty because he will not suffer social punishment. To conclude, apprehended people, especially murderers who spend their remaining life in jail will get the better way for revenge by their victims.
The major crimes have offended by the strong law. In society’s opinion, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to the penalty, he will be more guilty and regret his failure.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderer
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
in jail for the rest of his breath is the best sanction. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
life in prison is the right action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
criminals will be most unpleasant.

Firstly
, enjoy the rest of the time in jail will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dull and terrible. It feels more isolated from the group and the prisoner will realize his mistake
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim’s
relatives
still
not apologize for him.
Secondly
, this kind of penalty gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderer
to be a better character through regret all his crimes and do the right and useful thing in that abundant place.
In other words
, a person who arrested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the major crimes will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
horrible words of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
and its relatives and will
be isolated
from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family. The condition to recognize guy as a criminal is more awful and shameful,
eventually
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pass in the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "remains'" or "'s"?
remains
life of the killer. Although it is difficult, he can do useful things, pray and raise for forgiveness, and socialize with other prisoners in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.
Additionally
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him will be a kind individual for himself.

On the other hand
, give the death punishment to the worst arrested person will not give a social effect for himself.
Even though
this way is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rude, perhaps he does not regret and feels guilty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he will not suffer social punishment.

To conclude
, apprehended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murderers
who spend their remaining life in jail will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
the better way for revenge by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 73)Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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