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Some people like to communicate by email and voice mail. Other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face. Which type of communication do you prefer and why. v.1

Some people like to communicate by email and voice mail. Other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face. Which type of communication do you prefer and why. v. 1
In the internet and speed era the people developed methods to communicate fast and efficient. Even though the email and voice mail are convenient and fast ways to get or keep in contact with the people, personally I prefer to communicate by telephone of face to face for few reasons. First, in person communication is more personal. Writing an email or living a voice mail does not imply personal involvement. Written material is arid and strict and communicates fact. You don’t have one person in front of you, you have just a piece of paper. In general, in this case people forget to take in consideration the other’s felling and this can cause harm to the relationship. For example my daughter had a huge fight with her girlfriend because they send to each other emails containing demeaning words. I talked to her and I ask her if she would have told her the same words if she would speak to her directly. Her answer was no, because she would have been ashamed to do that. Second, when you communicate directly using telephone or in person you can get more information than if you use just email. In general, communication imply not just words but nonverbal signs too, such as body gestures or face mimics. For example, at the end of last year my boss evaluated my work activity. Even though he was very strict and objective, he smiled at me all the time during our conversation. I assumed that in fact he was more than satisfied with the way that I achieved my objectives. After a month that confirmed because my bonus was bigger than in the previous year. Third, I believe that direct communication will save precious time. In general, when the people send an email or record a voice mail the person who received those will send the reply later which can cause delays or the emails can go back and forth with no respect for the individual’s time. If the person choose to communicate in person or by telephone, the answer will come back right away. For example, last month I had to finish a project for work by the end of the week. I had all my research done but I still needed few information from my project partner. I send him an email requesting that information. He was out of town with no access to his email and he replied to my email after three days. Because of this I missed the deadline and I was penalized. That’s why I think that if I would have called him I would have been able to avoid this problem. By way of conclusion, taking in consideration the reasons explored above, I consider that it would be better for people’s life if they use in person communication.
In the internet and speed era the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
developed methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and efficient.
Even though
the email and voice mail are convenient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
personally
I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
by telephone of face to face for few reasons.

First
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is more personal. Writing an email or living a voice mail does not imply personal involvement. Written material is arid and strict and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicates
fact. You don’t have one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in front of you, you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a piece of paper.
In general
,
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget to take in consideration the other’s felling and this can cause harm to the relationship.
For example
my daughter had a huge fight with her girlfriend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
to each other emails containing demeaning words. I talked to her and I ask her if she would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
her the same words if she would speak to her
directly
. Her answer was no,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she would have
been ashamed
to do that.

Second, when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
directly
using telephone or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information than if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
email.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
imply not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nonverbal signs too, such as body gestures or face mimics.
For example
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of last year my boss evaluated my work activity.
Even though
he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict and objective, he smiled at me all the time during our conversation. I assumed that in fact he was more than satisfied with the way that I achieved my objectives. After a month that confirmed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my bonus was bigger than in the previous year.

Third, I believe that direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
will save precious time.
In general
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
an email or record a voice mail the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who received those will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
the reply later which can cause delays or the emails can go back and forth with no respect for the individual’s time. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or by telephone, the answer will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back right away.
For example
, last month I had to finish a project for work by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the week. I had all my research done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
needed
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little information".
few information
from my project partner. I
In some texts, you can shorten this phrase. Consider using "email him".
send him an email
requesting that information. He was out of town with no access to his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
email and
he replied to my email after three days.
Because of this
I missed the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deadline and
I
was penalized
. That’s why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if I
Did you mean "had called"?
would have called
him I would have been able to avoid this problem.

By way of conclusion, taking in consideration the reasons explored above, I consider that it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to communicate by email and voice mail. Other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face. Which type of communication do you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
469 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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