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Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v.5

Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5
The quality of education plays an integral role in one's success in the life. Nowadays, the majority of the educational institutions are focused on imparting academic knowledge only. To a certain extent, I agree with the statement that vocational skills should be taught more in the colleges. However, we cannot ignore the importance of academic studies. This essay will discuss both the views First of all, the pattern of the academic courses should be changed with the time. They should focus more on the skill based studies. For example, there are many vocational courses such as plumbing, cooking, electrician or web designing, which can help the student in getting a job. Secondly, Skill based study can prepare students better for industrial jobs. In industry, the skills are more valued than academic achievements. In the other words, the academic milestones alone cannot help a student in getting employed. Hence, one should motivate educational bodies in including skill oriented courses in the curriculum. On the other hand, the academic studies play a vital role in one's career. For instance, these courses help in in enhancing the aptitude and the verbal abilities of an individual which can be beneficial in many ways. Moreover, an employer always looks for good academic grades and achievements while hiring an employee. So, equal weightage should be given to the academic studies. To conclude, the skill based study is the demand of today's time. Educational institutions like colleges should motivate students in gaining the vocational skills apart from the academic studies. It is predicted that in future, more emphasis should be laid on skills rather than grades.
The quality of education plays an integral role in one's success in the life. Nowadays, the majority of the educational institutions
are focused
on imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be taught
more in the colleges.
However
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This essay will discuss both the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
views


This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the pattern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the time. They should focus more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
such as plumbing, cooking, electrician or web designing, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in getting a job.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skill
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
can prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
better for industrial jobs. In industry, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more valued than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements. In the other words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
milestones alone cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in getting employed.
Hence
, one should motivate educational bodies in including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in the curriculum.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
play a vital role in one's career.
For instance
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
enhancing the aptitude and the verbal abilities of an individual which can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

Moreover
, an employer always looks for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
grades and achievements while hiring an employee.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, equal weightage should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is the demand of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time. Educational institutions like colleges should motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in gaining the vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. It
is predicted
that
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, more emphasis should
be laid
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than grades.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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