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Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 1
In this modern world, everyone would like to buy new gadgets. Many of them would like to buy the upgraded version devices such as laptop, mobile and other items. This essay will discuss the reasons why people are interested in buying the latest gadgets. These days purchasing new gadgets have become a trend all over the world. Whereas, people want to be fast and updated in this modern world. Everyone has their own reason to buy gadgets as per their requirements. For example, these days, many of them are playing pubg and it can be accessed only on new and upgraded version mobile and laptop. Therefore, I moderately agree with the statement people buying new devices. There are many other people who don't buy new gadgets where as, it's all about their interest. It's not always required to buy new device many of them believe in saving money and spend on something that is very necessary. For example, there are a lot of people who don't do online work and gaming so they are not interested in buying new devices because it doesn't attract them. Hence, I also moderately disagree about people buying new devices. Most of the people are device addicted and they love to buy a new one. In this essay, we discussed about, how often people are interested in purchasing digital devices such as new phones, new desktop. In my opinion, there are two types of people who are interested and few are not interested in buying new devices.
In this modern world, everyone would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the upgraded version
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as laptop, mobile and other items. This essay will discuss the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the latest gadgets.

These days purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
have become a trend all over the world. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and updated in this modern world. Everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
as per their requirements.
For example
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are playing
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
and it can
be accessed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and upgraded version mobile and laptop.
Therefore
, I
moderately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
devices.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
, it's all about their interest.

It's not always required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them believe in saving money and spend on something
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't do online work and gaming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn't attract them.
Hence
, I
also
moderately
disagree about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
devices.

Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
addicted and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. In this essay, we
Did you mean simply "discussed ,"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about,
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in purchasing digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
desktop. In my opinion, there are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
and few are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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