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Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 2
Purchasing new gadgets such as mobile phone, tab, a laptop is a passion of some people and they love to spend money on the latest technical devices. In my opinion, I completely agree that many public like to buy new devices due to coping up trends, increasing images and passing time. Firstly, having the latest device helps people to cope up with contemporary technology. In every latest version of a product, there must be some new features, which facilitate an individual to do day to day activities more efficiently. For example, voice commanding feature in ‘Samsung 10’ helps students and business persons to direct Google within a second and saves the time of typing. Therefore, every latest version of any device makes life smoothly and remains a person up to date. Secondly, people always want to increase their social status and buying the new phone, the desktop or the storage device is one of the ways of raising images to society. For instance, purchasing a ‘Note 3 Plus’ of Samsung brand will raise prestige to any person because of its highest price in the mobile market. Moreover, having the latest devices increases status to colleagues and friends. Finally, people often buy a new thing as a hobby or passing time in the market. In other words, when people are moving around the shopping mall, they attract new model products and purchase those by influencing the salesperson. In every shop, for example, there is a person, who persuade visitors to buy and people cannot ignore the marketing tactics. In conclusion, there is a tendency to buy modern technological devices because people want to maintain fad, raise their status and pass free time.
Purchasing
new
gadgets such as mobile phone, tab, a laptop is a passion of
some
people and
they
love
to spend money on the latest technical
devices
. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that
many
public like to
buy
new
devices
due to coping up trends, increasing images and passing time.

Firstly
, having the latest
device
helps
people
to cope up with contemporary technology. In every latest version of a product, there
must
be
some
new
features, which facilitate an individual to do day to day activities more
efficiently
.
For example
, voice commanding feature in ‘Samsung 10’
helps
students and business
persons
to direct Google within a second and saves the time of typing.
Therefore
, every latest version of any
device
makes
life
smoothly
and remains a
person
up to date.

Secondly
,
people
always want to increase their social status and buying the
new
phone, the desktop or the storage
device
is one of the ways of raising images to society.
For instance
, purchasing a ‘Note 3 Plus’ of Samsung brand will raise prestige to any
person
because
of its highest price in the mobile market.
Moreover
, having the latest
devices
increases status to colleagues and friends.

Finally
,
people
often
buy
a
new
thing as a hobby or passing time in the market.
In other words
, when
people
are moving around the shopping mall, they attract
new
model products and
purchase
those by influencing the salesperson. In every shop,
for example
, there is a
person
, who persuade visitors to
buy
and
people
cannot
ignore
the marketing tactics.

In
conclusion, there is a tendency to
buy
modern technological
devices
because
people
want to maintain fad, raise their status and pass free time.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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