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Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 5
There is a common phenomenon today that is using the latest technological products become a fashion, thus more and more consumers prefer to buy the latest smartphones, computers and other devices. In my opinion, this behaviour could bring both positive and negative developments to the society. On one hand, citizens like purchase the latest electrical goods could establish a good cycle of national economy growth and technology advancements. Firstly, a frequent consuming action will increase the profits of relative manufacturers and developers. Secondly, the huge demand of the market will create more jobs in producing products to meet its requirements, thus the individuals income rise. At the same time, the government could gain more tax, which means they have more funds to spend on developing of various aspects, such as education, technology and science. Finally, both soft and hard power increased by the population of scientific and technological talents and new product growth. On the other hand, everything has two sides, when consumers are keeping replace still working devices with new items frequently, that could cause a huge waste of resources and money. For a common individual, neither a new smartphone or computer are not cheap, which might cost them a few weeks salary. If they always change those items might cause them some troubles, such as a personal financial crisis. Moreover, it also could lead certain environmental problems, such as populations, because some of the materials used to make electrical products are non-recyclable. The battery is a good example, it not only non-recyclable, but also could endanger the environment when it is mishandled. In conclusion, this consuming habit is a double sword, which could bring benefits of economic growth and development, and could cause a big waste and population as well. Therefore, if we want to achieve the best interest have to find the balance between the both positive and negative effects.
There is a common phenomenon
today
that is
using the latest technological
products
become a fashion,
thus
more and more consumers prefer to
buy
the latest smartphones, computers and other devices. In my opinion, this
behaviour
could bring both
positive
and
negative
developments to the society.

On one hand, citizens like
purchase
the latest electrical
goods
could establish a
good
cycle of national economy growth and technology advancements.
Firstly
, a frequent consuming action will increase the profits of relative manufacturers and developers.
Secondly
, the huge demand of the market will create more jobs in producing
products
to
meet
its requirements,
thus
the
individuals
income rise. At the same time, the
government
could gain more tax, which means they have more funds to spend on developing of various aspects, such as education, technology and science.
Finally
, both soft and
hard
power increased by the population of scientific and technological talents and new
product
growth.

On the other hand
, everything has two sides, when consumers are keeping replace
still
working devices with new items
frequently
, that could cause a huge waste of resources and money. For a common individual, neither a new smartphone or computer are not
cheap
, which might cost them a few
weeks
salary. If they always
change
those items might cause them
some
troubles, such as a personal financial crisis.
Moreover
, it
also
could lead certain environmental problems, such as populations,
because
some of the
materials
used
to
make
electrical
products
are non-recyclable. The battery is a
good
example, it not
only
non-recyclable,
but
also
could endanger the environment when it
is mishandled
.

In conclusion
, this consuming habit is a double sword, which could bring benefits of economic growth and development, and could cause a
big
waste and population
as well
.
Therefore
, if we want to achieve the best interest
have to
find the balance between the both
positive
and
negative
effects.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to buy new phones, new desktop or other latest devices. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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