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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v.7

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 7
Nowadays, demand of people is increasing significantly, which can be the essential goods or unnecessary for them. Thus, some people spend their money too much than they should be for consuming things which they favour. This essay discusses the causes and the possible solution to solve it. First of all, most people get into debt for buying the necessary things starting with the high based cost such as cars, houses, and condominiums. For example, some people get into a liability for buying land to do their business which can afford later with the benefit that they gain from the job. On the other hand, luxury goods, which are not imperative for most people, are bought by expensive tasted population with a high rate of cost, hence someone can have an indebtedness by spending cash with these kind of things such as decoration and jewels. On the contrary, some people can prevent this behaviour by fund management, which is the table presenting about their income which they spend. For example, my parents use this table to calculate amount of capital that they can use monthly. Moreover, thinking about the necessity before buying is very good idea to stop this behaviour. From my experience, I always think about the benefits that I can get from the goods before I buy it. In summary, people who spend too much to gain something that they cannot get at that time and get into debt.
Nowadays, demand of
people
is increasing
significantly
, which can be the essential
goods
or unnecessary for them.
Thus
,
some
people
spend their money too
much
than they should be for consuming things which they
favour
. This essay discusses the causes and the possible solution to solve it.

First of all
, most
people
get
into debt for buying the necessary things starting with the high based cost such as cars,
houses
, and condominiums.
For example
,
some
people
get
into a liability for buying land to do their business which can afford later with the benefit that they gain from the job.
On the other hand
, luxury
goods
, which are not imperative for most
people
, are
bought
by expensive tasted population with a high rate of cost,
hence
someone can have an indebtedness by spending cash with
these kind
of things such as decoration and jewels.

On the contrary
,
some
people
can
prevent
this
behaviour
by fund management, which is the table presenting about their income which they spend.
For example
, my parents
use
this table to calculate amount of capital that they can
use
monthly.
Moreover
, thinking about the necessity
before
buying is
very
good
idea
to
stop
this
behaviour
. From my experience, I always
think
about the benefits that I can
get
from the
goods
before
I
buy
it.

In summary,
people
who spend too much to gain something that they cannot
get
at that time and
get
into debt.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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