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In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems. v.2

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 2
Marriages in many countries are a complicated issue triggering public controversy at any given moment in history. While most people believe that marriages which are arranged by the parents are completely wrong, I think that it is not completely wrong and even it can be right in certain circumstances. This essay will present my own position in such a phenomenon. On the one hand, there are many reasons why a majority of people claim that ones should choose their own partners. Many countries allow young adults to determine their partner who they would agree to share their lives with. As it is usually the case, the freedom to choose a marriage partner facilitates wholesome relationship between individuals, one based on compassion and understanding. This would have a positive impact on the emotions and bonds of the couple, making them feel more connected and fulfilled in life. In addition, since the law have put emphasis on the necessity that people should make decisions on nearly every aspect of their lives, the influence of parents on their children when it comes to marriages has become inconsequential. On the one hand, arranged marriages are common place anywhere in the world and I would argue that this outlook has both negative and positive. As regards the cons, many young adults are forced to put up with the ones they have no genuine affection, which could be seen as a vice in modern society. This makes the possibility of divorce is increased since the groom and bride do not love each other. However, in terms of pros, since the parents are older, they are considered more prudent; therefore, their willpower would ultimately shape the marriages of all children in the family. By arranging marriage, parents can protect their children from negative relationships like unwanted pregnancy. Additionally, among the aristocracy, parents have been orchestrating the marriages of their children to make sure that they tie the knot between two families who have equal social status. As a result, these parents assume that the benefit of arranged marriage outstrips the drawback in the long run. In conclusion, I believe that arranged marriages are right in some cases due to their own benefit. Besides, I agree with this Paulo Coelho’s quote “Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day”.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriages
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are a complicated issue triggering public controversy at any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
moment in history. While most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arranged
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and even it can be right in certain circumstances. This essay will present my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
position in such a phenomenon.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
should choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
partners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young adults to determine their partner who they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with. As it is
usually
the case, the freedom to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
partner facilitates wholesome relationship between individuals, one based on compassion and understanding. This would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the emotions and bonds of the couple, making them feel more connected and fulfilled in life.
In addition
, since the law have put emphasis on the necessity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions on
nearly
every aspect of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
has become inconsequential.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are common place anywhere in the world and I would argue that this outlook has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. As regards the cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young adults
are forced
to put up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
they have no genuine affection, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a vice in modern society. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the possibility of divorce
is increased
since the groom and bride do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
each other.
However
, in terms of pros, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are older, they
are considered
more prudent;
therefore
, their willpower would
ultimately
shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the family. By arranging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
relationships like unwanted pregnancy.
Additionally
, among the aristocracy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have been orchestrating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they tie the knot between two families who have equal social status.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
assume that the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
outstrips the drawback in the long run.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are right in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit.
Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this Paulo
Possible spelling mistake found.
Coelho
’s quote “Nothing in the world is ever completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Even a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
clock is right twice a day”.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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