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some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. what are reasons for this behavior? what action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v.3

some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. what are reasons for this behavior? what action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 3
There is an argument suppressed in the society that many individuals are purchasing stuffs which they are not in need of, as well as, it is beyond their purchasing power. The situation is triggered by different premises that will be discussed further in the essay. Firstly, peer pressure from friends or colleagues are the basic reason that influences a person to buy such items they don't desire. For example, talking about owning video games has become a trend among the teenagers now-a-days, due to this show off process many non-interested guys are now buying new editions of Play Station, just to have the same discussion topic. On the other hand, social media also plays a key role in tempting the audience to consume items that are branded and costly. For instance, there are many Brands such as, Nike, H & M, they showcase their products in a manner via celebrities which makes indigenous people bound to follow. Consequently, more and more credit cards are being swapped in order to purchase these items. To combat against this raising debt madness, first and for most, it is important for the human beings to have self-realization, which can be either be done by sharing their honest financial condition with friends or try to avoid watching adverts that increases temptation for such barbarous plots. For example, social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, where mélange of ads pops up every now and then, can be controlled by the person operating the account by using hide option to minimize these advertisements. As a result, mere explanation with simple "no" will save a lot of money. In conclusion, to recapitulate, having something unnecessary which costs a lot of fortune will bring mental pressure, since, back of the mind will always worry about paying off. Therefore, considering options before buying items will be wise idea.
There is an argument suppressed in the society that
many
individuals are purchasing stuffs which they are not in need of,
as well
as, it is beyond their purchasing power. The situation
is triggered
by
different
premises that will
be discussed
further
in the essay.

Firstly
, peer pressure from friends or colleagues are the basic reason that influences a person to
buy
such items they don't desire.
For example
, talking about owning video games has become a trend among the
teenagers
now
-a-days, due to this
show
off process
many
non-interested guys are
now
buying new editions of
Play Station
,
just
to have the same discussion topic.
On the other hand
, social media
also
plays a key role in tempting the audience to consume items that
are branded
and costly.
For instance
, there are
many
Brands such as, Nike, H & M, they showcase their products in a manner via celebrities which
makes
indigenous
people
bound to follow.
Consequently
, more and more credit cards are
being swapped
in order to
purchase
these items.

To combat against this raising debt madness,
first
and for most, it is
important
for the human beings to have self-realization, which can be either
be done
by sharing their honest financial condition with friends or try to avoid watching adverts that increases temptation for such barbarous plots.
For example
, social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, where mélange of ads pops up every
now
and then, can
be controlled
by the person operating the account by using
hide
option to minimize these advertisements.
As a result
, mere explanation with simple
"
no
"
will save
a lot of
money.

In conclusion
, to recapitulate, having something unnecessary which costs
a lot of
fortune will bring mental pressure, since, back of the mind will always worry about paying off.
Therefore
, considering options
before
buying items will be wise
idea
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. what are reasons for this behavior? what action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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