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Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 5
Researchers have indicated that a number of criminals descend from a low education class. Several people argue that the optimal solution to decrease the crime rate effectively is to offer lawbreakers with a high-quality education in jail, so they will improve their career prospects after being released from a prison sentence. I partly agree with this measure, as it is not the best method of reducing crime. Admittedly, education in prison may bring some advantage for offenders. Initially, this education can provide prisoners with the work skills that are essential when they reintegrate back into society. They are likely to strengthen their job prospects and may earn a living without intention to do a crime after leaving prison. Also, education shows that the wrongdoers could realize the value of themselves for the community. Instead of discriminating behaviour with criminal, they are still appreciated by the resident and society. As a result, they will try to become a better person and may then discourage many others from living without crime. However, I still believe that there are other practical solutions to minimize the rate of crime. The first solution is that the government need to enact several strict laws for people turning to crime. With severe punishments such as more extended imprisonment, the resident will be deterred from acting criminal in public. The second measure is another educational method that may have a more robust and more long-lasting impact on the reduction of crime. It is a crime education for young people at school, which assist students in acquiring the necessary knowledge about illegal behaviours and crime prevention. This measure is unequivocal a more sustainable crime-fighting solution than education for criminals. To conclude, although educating prisoners to have several positive aspects, I firmly hold the view that there are more effective measures to reduce crime such as crime education at school and strict punishments for criminals.
Researchers have indicated that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
descend from a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
effectively
is to offer lawbreakers with a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in jail,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career prospects after
being released
from a prison sentence. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
, as it is not the best method of reducing crime.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in prison may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage for offenders.
Initially
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can provide prisoners with the work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are essential when they reintegrate back into society. They are likely to strengthen their job prospects and may earn a living without intention to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
after leaving prison.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the wrongdoers could realize the value of themselves for the community.
Instead
of discriminating
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, they are
still
appreciated by the resident and society.
As a result
, they will try to become a better person and may then discourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others from living without crime.

However
, I
still
believe that there are other practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to minimize the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to enact several strict laws for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
turning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. With severe punishments such as more extended imprisonment, the resident will
be deterred
from acting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
in public. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is another educational method that may have a more robust and more long-lasting impact on the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at school, which assist students in acquiring the necessary knowledge about illegal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prevention. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is unequivocal a more sustainable crime-fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for criminals.

To conclude
, although educating prisoners to have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, I
firmly
hold the view that there are more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at school and strict punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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