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Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 2
These days, the world has placed a premium on knowledge and education as a way to take in essential information and skills. Getting a higher education can be difficult for poor people who lives in rural, which needs universities’ help for these groups to get into them easily. I completely agree with this statement on the grounds that, they are hardworking students and have a high level of competence to receive tertiary education. To begin with, lack of equipment in some rural places can trigger making obstacles in getting further education, while some of them are really versatile and have high level competence in learning and gaining a higher education. If universities consider an exception for rural students, it can prevent them to lagging behind and result in enhancing their aptitude. For instance, according to the BBC news, people who live in rural are cleverer than who is living in the city caused by having more organic food and inhaling fresh air. Having said that, however, in order to improve knowledge and education level in rural areas, it is essential to consider a quota for rural areas to make it easier for students to get into higher education and to acquire knowledge. As an example, it can foster rural students' training skill and force them to make a commitment to the government, which they tend to come back to the villages and proceed training in the rural areas for at least 5 years, after they were graduated. To conclude, I believe that making an especial quota for the rural areas can lead to enhancing knowledge and improving the education level in rural society, and helps government to provide excel labours in the future.
These days, the world has placed a premium on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a way to take in essential information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Getting a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be difficult for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
, which needs universities’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for these groups to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into them
easily
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement on the grounds that, they are hardworking students and have a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of competence to receive tertiary education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, lack of equipment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
places can trigger making obstacles in getting
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
really
versatile and have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
competence in learning and gaining a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. If universities consider an exception for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
students, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them to lagging behind and result in enhancing their aptitude.
For instance
, according to the BBC news,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
are cleverer than who is living in the city caused by having more organic food and inhaling fresh air.

Having said that,
however
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it is essential to consider a quota for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. As an example, it can foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
students' training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a commitment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to the villages and proceed training in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for at least 5 years, after they
were graduated
.

To conclude
, I believe that making an especial quota for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can lead to enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
society, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide excel
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
in the future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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