Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 4
Educational qualifications should be planned in terms of equality of opportunity, but underprivileged people find it so hard to get admission into universities. I believe that everyone has the right to access educational achievement conveniently, and universities can provide this situation for students by some paths that I will explain in this essay. To embark upon, education plays a vital role in the development of a person, and of course, in the whole society. Hence, universities should dedicate some financial benefits such as scholarships or bursaries, and student loans for the less well-off. Therefore, these actions can provide a great opportunity for talented students studying in a more leisurely manner, so elitism of one sort or another is inherent in the system will reduce. Furthermore, most of these deprived students are the sole bread earner of the family, and they should work beside their study. So, universities can provide them some student work which can be helpful in this issue. As a result, students can concentrate on their lessons and have more progress. In addition, the university can take some measures such as conducting some evening classes for these students, which will make them feel more comfortable. In conclusion, lifelong education is an issue, and creating an opportunity for penurious students is so crucial. Therefore, the financial support of a different kind can help to make educational opportunities more equal which is occurred just for better-off people these days.
Educational qualifications should
be planned
in terms of equality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
underprivileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. I believe that everyone has the right to access educational achievement
conveniently
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can provide this situation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
paths that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

To embark upon, education plays a vital role in the development of a person, and
of course
, in the whole society.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should dedicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial benefits such as scholarships or bursaries, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
loans for the less well-off.
Therefore
, these actions can provide a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying in a more
leisurely
manner,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
elitism of one sort or another is inherent in the system will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

Furthermore
, most of these deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the sole bread earner of the family, and they should work beside their study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can provide them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
work which can be helpful in this issue.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can concentrate on their lessons and have more progress.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures such as conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evening classes for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more comfortable.

In conclusion
, lifelong education is an issue, and creating an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for penurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crucial.
Therefore
, the financial support of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
more equal which
is occurred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for better-off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts