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Some people find it beneficial to enrol the young children in nursery school before primary school, while others think it is good to keep children with families. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people find it beneficial to enrol the young children in nursery school before primary school, while others think it is good to keep children with families. v. 2
In the modern era of education, there has been a trending scenario of a plethora of nursery schools coming up in the limelight. Proponents opine that it is advantageous to admit children in kindergarten schools prior to primary education, while opponents suggest that it is a better decision to make kids stay with families. This essay will discuss both these views and argue why it is good to allow children to stay back home with families. On the one hand, sending young ones to nursery school will provide an exposure with teachers and fellow mates. This allows them to get used to the school environment which promotes them to face school with ease when they are upgraded to primary education. For instance, a recent research proves that kids who attend kindergarten do not tend to weep and avert when going to primary school. Furthermore, it allows the young children’s acquire an opportunity to visually see new places, new people, and new learning environment. On the other hand, children are way too young and not completely ready for a naive change. They are at an age where they are completely unaware of their surroundings. Also, it is of paramount importance for children at this stage to be devoted to their families. This progresses a healthy bonding between the child and the family and is pivotal because this bond impression stays for the entire lifetime of the child. Apart from this, parents can provide any training if required based on the child’s capability. In addition to this, children are completely safe as they are under the guidance of their parents. To recapitulate, although some individuals advocate the benefits of admitting children in kindergarten, I stand by the rest who suggest that children must be with families as this helps to create an inseparable bonding.
In the modern era of education, there has been a trending scenario of a plethora of nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
coming up in the limelight. Proponents opine that it is advantageous to admit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in kindergarten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
prior to primary education, while opponents suggest that it is a better decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
kids stay with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This essay will discuss both these views and argue why it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay back home with families.

On the one hand, sending young ones to nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will provide an exposure with teachers and fellow mates. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment which promotes them to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
when they
are upgraded
to primary education.
For instance
, a recent research proves that kids who attend kindergarten do not tend to weep and avert when going to primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
acquire an opportunity to
visually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
new places, new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and new learning environment.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are way too young and not completely ready for a naive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. They are at an age where they are completely unaware of their surroundings.
Also
, it is of paramount importance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at this stage to
be devoted
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This progresses a healthy bonding between the child and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and is pivotal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this bond impression stays for the entire lifetime of the child. Apart from this, parents can provide any training if required
"required based" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try "basing" or "to be based".
based
on the child’s capability.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are completely safe as they are under the guidance of their parents.

To recapitulate, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals advocate the benefits of admitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in kindergarten, I stand by the rest who suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create an inseparable bonding.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people find it beneficial to enrol the young children in nursery school before primary school, while others think it is good to keep children with families. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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