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1. Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

1. Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
It is sometimes argued that whether people should pay entry fee to visit museums. To be honest, while I have to admit that there are some advantages of charging people for admission to museums, the advantages by no means outweigh the disadvantages and it is unnecessary. To begin with, charging visitors for the museum tickets can surely subsidy museums and improve their environment and services. This is because the museums would have more budget to repair and maintain cultural and historical artifacts. The Winter Palace Museum in Russia, for example, charges everyone who wants to enter for the fabulous paintings collected inside the palace so that it has money to buy or rent more precious collections. Since there would be more valuable things in museums to see, more people are willing to pay for admission to museums like the Winter Palace Museum. On the other hand, many critics argue that expensive tickets cost would stop visitors to museums and negatively affect the influence of them. This is because if the visitors to museums decrease dramatically, chances to promote local cultural heritage would drop correspondingly. According to recent surveys from Oxford University, most tourists would not go to museums if they have to pay for tickets. In addition, many museums do not have to charge visitors to keep running because they usually have subsidies from the state government. It is therefore clear that charging people for admission a museum is not a wise policy. In conclusion, it may benefit museums financially for charging tickets, but in the long term, this would have some serious impacts on local cultural transmission.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay entry fee to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. To be honest, while I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, the advantages by no means outweigh the disadvantages and it is unnecessary.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
can
surely
subsidy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their environment and services. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would have more budget to repair and maintain cultural and historical artifacts. The Winter Palace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in Russia,
for example
, charges everyone who wants to enter for the fabulous paintings collected inside the palace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it has money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or rent more precious collections. Since there would be more valuable things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to pay for admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
like the Winter Palace Museum.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
critics argue that expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
cost would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
negatively
affect the influence of them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
decrease
dramatically
, chances to promote local cultural heritage would drop
correspondingly
. According to recent surveys from Oxford University, most tourists would not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
have subsidies from the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for admission a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not a wise policy.

In conclusion
, it may benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
financially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long term, this would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious impacts on local cultural transmission.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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