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Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.8

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 8
Paparazzis are notoriously known for their habit of invading the privacy of the celebrities. While some people think that the price of fame needs to be paid, others believe they must be left alone during their private expeditions. In my opinion, not every time is a good time to click a picture, so the actors/actresses should be given some personal space. This essay will discuss both views in depth and suggest why it is not a good idea to follow the celebs everywhere. To begin with, famous people are humans just like ordinary people and have the right to privacy. The showbiz journalists destroy this private space when they pursue the stars everywhere for the single best shot for their page 3 article. For instance, sometimes the media people click and post an article which is embarrassing at times to sell the paper or increase traffic on websites online. On the other hand, others believe that a lack of privacy is the cost of being famous. Artists and sportspersons enjoy a luxurious lifestyle and they are the idols of many individuals. People want to know each and everything about them hence, it becomes necessary to capture every moment of their life for the sake of others. For example, there are articles in the newspaper about the fitness regime of many sportsmen and their diet. So, many people who want to be just like their favorite star can emulate their regime and diet. In conclusion, while there are people who think it is ok to haunt the celebrities for their pictures, as it is a price they pay for being famous, there are also people who believe otherwise. This essay discussed the two sides and suggests that although it is important to provide insights on celebs’ personal lives, they should do so without harassing them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paparazzis
are
notoriously
known for their habit of invading the privacy of the celebrities. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the price of fame needs to
be paid
, others believe they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone during their private expeditions. In my opinion, not every time is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time to click a picture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the actors/actresses should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal space. This essay will discuss both views in depth and suggest why it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to follow the celebs everywhere.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and have the right to privacy. The showbiz journalists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
this private space when they pursue the stars everywhere for the single best shot for their page 3 article.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
click and post an article which is embarrassing at times to sell the paper or increase traffic on websites online.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others believe that a lack of privacy is the cost of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. Artists and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
enjoy a luxurious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they are the idols of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to know each and everything about them
hence
, it becomes necessary to capture every moment of their life for the sake of others.
For example
, there are articles in the newspaper about the fitness regime of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sportsmen and their diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like their favorite star can emulate their regime and diet.

In conclusion
, while there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is ok to haunt the celebrities for their pictures, as it is a price they pay for being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe
otherwise
. This essay discussed the two sides and suggests that although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to provide insights on celebs’ personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without harassing them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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