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Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

There is a growing consensus among many people that individual photographers should not follow famous personalities and interfere in their personal life by capturing their private photographs while others opine that this is the price to pay for being famous. This essay discusses both sides of the argument before arriving at a conclusion. Every individual on this planet desires to have a balance between professional and personal life. Celebrities are often bothered by photographers who capture every moment of their life. This type of continuous follow up can lead to physical and mental stress. Moreover, the family members of these celebrities always complain that they do not get enough time because of the media, and the authorities should have appropriate law to tackle this situation. For instance, in a recent interview on Star News, family members of a famous star mentioned that they go through a lot of stress because of these individual photographers who invade their private space. However, famous people are aware that this intrusion into their lives is a small price to pay for the attention and adulation they receive. As their fans follow them everywhere, they are interested in every minute detail of their idols. Making the decision to become an actor is voluntary and they understand all the consequence they would face if they are famous. In conclusion, I believe that famous personalities should not be disturbed when they are spending some quality time with family members and close ones. However, while it is true that media should respect the privacy of everyone including celebrities, famous people also need to realise that encroachment on privacy is the price to pay for being popular. Those who really value their privacy can always choose not to be a celebrity.
There is a growing consensus among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that individual photographers should not follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities and interfere in their personal life by capturing their private photographs while others opine that this is the price to pay for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
. This essay discusses both sides of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a conclusion.

Every individual on this planet desires to have a balance between professional and personal life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
bothered by photographers who capture every moment of their life. This type of continuous follow up can lead to physical and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, the family members of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
always complain that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the media, and the authorities should have appropriate law to tackle this situation.
For instance
, in a recent interview on Star News, family members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
star mentioned that they go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these individual photographers who invade their private space.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware that this intrusion into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
price to pay for the attention and adulation they receive. As their fans follow them everywhere, they
are interested
in every minute detail of their idols. Making the decision to become an actor is
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
voluntary and
they understand all the consequence they would face if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities should not
be disturbed
when they are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with family members and close ones.
However
, while it is true that media should respect the privacy of everyone including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
need to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realise’ is British English.
realise
that encroachment on privacy is the price to pay for being popular. Those who
really
value their privacy can always choose not to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
.

IELTS essay Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3