Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 2
Taking photograph of famous people is a popular job in everywhere. People want to know more about how their icon life and this is why regular activities is followed by paparazzi. Some pupils think celebrities's life pays back them personal's life. The reason is papparazzi is a work and people have to do their job. Like other jobs, we have to do to earn our salary. How ever people should respect other life and they spect back what you are doing. For example, Dam Vinh Hung had publiced his mother's news to the reporter by volunteer and pleasure to answer any questions. Mean while some else is doing for reputation. Some of them doing every even giving a rumor which is create by themself. In Vietnam, one of the most famous singer, who is the first pioner for electric music, has growth up like today have drop off his career. Because of pressure from audience came from unknow picture about bulleting his girlfriend. In the real world a lot of ways to take a picture about celebrity's life such as asking them, set apointment and i think they will happy if you guys do that. Actually it also improve relationship each other. However it is a change for more informations in the news and get closer to the promotion opportunity. Everyone should have their own time not everything we see is what it means like that. In some case, the solution they do is reasonable but not suitable or not right with others. In constrat one day everyone knows what you have done is unrealistic and the consequence is social will turn back with you but no one else can help you out of your problem. In conclusion, any kind of work has their own disadvantaged and from my opion of view I think paparazzi should follow and take photograph but in a polite way. Finally, the demand from general public that causes the development of country's economy.
Taking photograph of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is a popular job in everywhere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to know more about how their icon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this is why regular activities
is followed
by paparazzi.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Did you mean "celebritie's" or "celebrities'"?
celebrities's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
pays back them personal's life.

The reason is
Possible spelling mistake found.
papparazzi
is a work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their job. Like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do to earn our salary.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
spect
back what you are doing.
For example
, Dam
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
Hung had
Possible spelling mistake found.
publiced
his mother's news to the reporter by volunteer and pleasure to answer any questions.
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
Mean while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
else is doing for reputation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them doing every even giving a rumor which is
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
. In Vietnam, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Please check whether a plural form of 'singer' should be used.
singer
, who is the
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
pioner
for electric music, has growth up like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have drop off his career.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of pressure from audience came from
Possible spelling mistake found.
unknow
picture about
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulleting
his girlfriend.

In the real world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways to take a picture about celebrity's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as asking them, set
Possible spelling mistake found.
apointment
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will happy
if you guys do that. Actually it
also
Did you mean "improves"?
improve
relationship each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for more
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
in the news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to the promotion opportunity. Everyone should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time not everything we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is what it means like that. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case, the solution they do is reasonable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not suitable or not right with others. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
constrat
one day everyone knows what you have done is unrealistic and the consequence is social will turn back with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one else can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you out of your problem.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, any kind of work has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantaged and from my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opion
of view I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
paparazzi should follow and take photograph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Consider replacing "in a polite way" with the adverb for "polite"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a polite way
.
Finally
, the demand from
Consider using "public".
general public
that causes the development of country's economy.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts