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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.16

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 16
In recent times, a lot of debate is going on regarding children's education. While some argue that teaching at home is the best for their development, other think that it is essential to go to school. Although both sides has its owns advantages, I am on the latter side of the argument. On the one hand, some people believe that it is ideal for a child to learn at home environment and they claim multiple benefits for this. Firstly, this will create a special bond with their parents and they will become closer to them. Secondly, different kids have different speed and style of learning and and hence will be better if they can learn at their own pace rather than being forced to study with others. Another benefit is that since children will be studying at home, they will be away from all sort of social evils like drugs and unwanted friendships that are present in today's society. For instance, a recent research conducted by Singapore government revealed that a lot of school children are using drugs and parents are unaware of this. Nevertheless, one should not forget the values, culture and tradition that kids can learn from elders at home. On the other hand, another group of people are of the opinion that schools are mandatory for the children and I completely agree with them. This provide a way to allow them to socialise and mingle with others, thereby creating meaningful friendships. Besides, schools have teachers who are experts in their respective subjects and this helps to increase their knowledge and understanding. Moreover, extra curicullar activities like sports, games and music are also necessary for a child's development and facilities like sports complexes, libraries and laboritories are possible only at educational institutions. For example, majority of the schools all over the world are supposed to have a play ground or a basket ball court. To conclude, it is true that spending time with parents and elders are good for the children and they can learn valuable things at home. However, in my opinion, eventhough studying at homely environment has its own benefits, the advantages of schooling will always outweigh.
In recent times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debate is going on regarding children's education. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that teaching at home is the best for their development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is essential to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Although both sides has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
advantages, I am on the latter side of the argument.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is ideal for a child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at home
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they claim multiple benefits for this.
Firstly
, this will create a special bond with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they will become closer to them.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kids have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
speed and style of learning
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
hence
will be better if they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace
rather
than
being forced
to study with others. Another benefit is that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be studying at home, they will be away from all sort of social evils like drugs and unwanted friendships that are present in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society.
For instance
, a recent research conducted by Singapore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using drugs and parents are unaware of this.
Nevertheless
, one should not forget the values, culture and tradition that kids can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from elders at home.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are mandatory for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.
The verb 'provide' is plural. Did you mean: "This provides"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This provide
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and mingle with others, thereby creating meaningful friendships.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have teachers who are experts in their respective subjects and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase their knowledge and understanding.
Moreover
, extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
curicullar
activities like sports, games and music are
also
necessary for a child's development and facilities like sports complexes, libraries and
Possible spelling mistake found.
laboritories
are possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at educational institutions.
For example
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
all over the world
are supposed
to have a play ground or a basket ball court.

To conclude
, it is true that spending time with parents and elders are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
valuable things at home.
However
, in my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
studying at homely environment has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits, the advantages of schooling will always outweigh.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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