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Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.13

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 13
It is no secret that people adore sports stars, singers and movie actors. Many freelance photographers took this as an opportunity to mint money by selling private pictures of famed people. However, some conservative people believe that celebrities should cope up this extra attention at the expense of good recognition everywhere. In this essay, I will share my opinion after discussing the rightfulness of Paparazzi in following the famous personalities and the other opinion that this behaviour pattern is obvious with the recognition. Firstly, many people are of the belief that once a person turns famous in the society, that individual becomes a public figure and their followers hold the right over their personal lives as well. In addition to this, people started to believe that it is quite alright to capture photos of celebrities without their permission. For example, many of the magazine reporters who create content about the film actors have opined that they didn't feel like breaching the personal walls while capturing their pictures. This pattern of behaviour by the photographers and journalists has made the famous people, particularly actors and athletes, conscious of their everyday activities. Furthermore, it impacts the personal lives of the elite personalities as they start feeling pressure of being extra cautious under the vigilance of hidden cameras everywhere. For instance, a recent survey conducted on pop singers has revealed that 90% of the renowned singers have suffered from mental illnesses due to the fact that they could hot handle this unwanted monitoring in all the places they visit. To conclude, even though it is a common belief among the general people to think that photographers can take the photos of famous people, self-employed photographers should consider the fact that intruding into the personal lives of celebrities and clicking pictures without their permission is an immoral act. I think separate events should be organized by these renowned personalities to offer photograph stills to these freelance photographers so that the private lives will not be breached.
It is no secret that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adore sports stars, singers and movie actors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
freelance photographers took this as an opportunity to mint money by selling private pictures of famed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that celebrities should cope up this extra attention at the expense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
recognition everywhere. In this essay, I will share my opinion after discussing the rightfulness of Paparazzi in following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personalities and the other opinion that this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
pattern is obvious with the recognition.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the belief that once a person turns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in the society, that individual becomes a public figure and their followers hold the right over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as well
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to believe that it is quite alright to capture photos of celebrities without their permission.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the magazine reporters who create content about the film actors have opined that they didn't feel like breaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
walls while capturing their pictures.

This pattern of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by the photographers and journalists has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
actors and athletes, conscious of their everyday activities.
Furthermore
, it impacts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the elite personalities as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling pressure of being extra cautious under the vigilance of hidden cameras everywhere.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted on pop singers has revealed that 90% of the renowned singers have suffered from mental illnesses due to the fact that they could hot handle this unwanted monitoring in all the places they visit.

To conclude
,
even though
it is a common belief among the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that photographers can take the photos of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, self-employed photographers should consider the fact that intruding into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of celebrities and clicking pictures without their permission is an immoral act. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
separate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should
be organized
by these renowned personalities to offer photograph stills to these freelance photographers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
will not
be breached
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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