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“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society. ” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.1

“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society. ” You should v. 1
In the beginning, there is no doubt that we should find an effective way to contain and prevent high crime levels in order to protect citizens. In many cases, imprisonment can be seen as the right decision, however, I personally believe that it cannot be an option for many minor crimes, such as shoplifting, burglary, and blackmail. First and foremost, it is clear that many people are keen to detain the criminals outside of the public. In this regard, some citizens have been willing to enforce the law. From the many peoples’ view point, violent punishments, such as capital punishment and life sentence are the factors which deter criminals. However, if the government and other members of society do not take measures to rehabilitate offenders, they will break the law continuously. For example, in the Western countries, special psychologists work with perpetrators to prevent their antisocial behaviour in the future. The another my argument is that other people have not a right to separate other members and punish strictly. Some people believe that these kind of actions cannot be taken in these days. Furthermore, dividing lawbreakers from the public is not an effective method to deter a crime. In addition to this, some petty crimes should use other methods, such as fines and house arrest. To illustrate, many developed countries preclude minor crimes with financial penalties, which is much more productive than jail. However, Some violent criminals should be kept out of public life, because of a dangerous threat to society. In conclusion, although some individuals believe that confinement is a good way to deter a crime, personally, I reckon to think that these techniques are very old and ineffective. In my opinion, we should use modern methods.
In the beginning, there is no doubt that we should find an effective way to contain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels in order to protect citizens. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, imprisonment can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the right decision,
however
, I
personally
believe that it cannot be an option for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as shoplifting, burglary, and blackmail.

First
and foremost, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to detain the criminals
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the public. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens have been willing to enforce the law. From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
view point, violent punishments, such as capital punishment and life sentence are the factors which deter criminals.
However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of society do not take measures to rehabilitate offenders, they will break the law
continuously
.
For example
, in the Western countries, special psychologists work with perpetrators to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the future.

The
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my argument" or "another argument"?
another my argument
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not a right to separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members and punish
strictly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of actions cannot
be taken
in these days.
Furthermore
, dividing lawbreakers from the public is not an effective method to deter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods, such as fines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
arrest. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
preclude minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
with financial penalties, which is much more productive than jail.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
violent criminals should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
out of public life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
threat to society.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that confinement is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to deter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
personally
, I reckon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these techniques are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and ineffective. In my opinion, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern methods.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay “Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society. ” You should v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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