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Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. with this statement? v. 1
At the beginning, there is no doubt that we should introduce an effective method to teach children. In this regard, some people believe that digital learning processes and games are the best way to guide the pupils. However, personally, I believe that these kind of methods can be additional materials for the studying process, and there are cannot substitute old teaching method, which is based on textbooks. On the one hand, it is handy and comfortable to conduct lectures on textbooks. They provide us with valuable learning materials throughout the academic year, and they do not depend on electricity and internet. Furthermore, paper-based training materials are available for almost the entire population of the Earth. For instance, there are many regions, such as Africa and Asia, where citizens have not an access to the internet. In this regard, many individuals are not keen to choose them. On the other hand, using games, computers and interactive whiteboard may envelop children's cognitive development. They can increase school pupils' interest in subjects, because it is an effective way to deliver information. Moreover, during the games, they may find it easy to gain knowledge about the specific topics. For example, many developed countries teach their students, using the methods, such as e-learning or distance learning, and in this sense it is comfortable to use new technologies for them. To conclude, it is true that the modern world is developing faster than before, and advanced technologies and intellectual games may replace our paper-based study process. However, I believe that textbooks are beneficial to guide the students, as universities are willing to develop students self-study process.
At the beginning, there is no doubt that we should introduce an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to teach children. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that digital learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the best way to guide the pupils.
However
,
personally
, I believe that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
can be additional materials for the studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, and there are cannot substitute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, which
is based
on textbooks.

On the one hand, it is handy and comfortable to conduct lectures on textbooks. They provide us with valuable learning materials throughout the academic year, and they do not depend on electricity and internet.
Furthermore
, paper-based training materials are available for almost the entire population of the Earth.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions, such as Africa and Asia, where citizens have not
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to the internet. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are not keen to choose them.

On the other hand
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, computers and interactive whiteboard may envelop children's cognitive development. They can increase school pupils' interest in subjects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is an effective way to deliver information.
Moreover
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they may find it easy to gain knowledge about the specific topics.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
teach their students, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, such as e-learning or distance learning, and in this sense it is comfortable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
new technologies for them.

To conclude
, it is true that the modern world is developing faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and advanced technologies and intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may replace our paper-based study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
.
However
, I believe that textbooks are beneficial to guide the students, as universities are willing to develop students self-study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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