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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? v.16

Few individuals believe that celebrities like musicians, players, and movie stars are paid highly. I strongly agree with the statement and will share relevant examples to support my view. There are various other jobs which should be paid highly such as Doctors, Social sevants, Defence, and Teachers. Celebrities that are seen on television are often paid too much money for their work. For instance, the amount charged by bollywood stars for one movie is as higher as five crores. Players playing different sports specially cricket are also paid in crores. They are surely talented and work hard towards their job yet paying crores for a movie or match is way too much. Other types of professions such as Doctors who save lives daily deserve a decent amount of salary, Teachers who shape so many lives and build leaders for tomorrow should be paid well, the Defence and Social workers like Policeman, Army, Navy are the ones because of whom people stay safe and secure. However, they are not usually paid a good amount as per the salary structure which is known to everyone. Money is the most important tool in any job as it gives that boost and motivation to people to work hard and earn even better. A worker should be paid according to their efforts towards that work and not merely by the popularty they gain. To conclude, there should be equal distribution of money, Government should make proper rules and regulations towards distributing fair amount of wages as deserved by people based on factors like qualification, experience, talent, skills, and job.
Few individuals believe that celebrities like musicians, players, and movie stars are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
highly
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and will share relevant examples to support my view. There are various other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
highly
such as Doctors, Social
Possible spelling mistake found.
sevants
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Defence’ is British English.
Defence
, and Teachers.

Celebrities that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on television are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
too much money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
charged by
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
stars for one movie is as
Did you mean “high”?
higher
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
as
five crores. Players playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports
specially
cricket are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
in crores. They are
surely
talented and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
yet
paying crores for a movie or match is way too much.

Other types of professions such as Doctors who save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
daily deserve a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of salary, Teachers who shape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and build leaders for tomorrow should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
well, the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Defence’ is British English.
Defence
and Social workers like Policeman, Army, Navy are the ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of whom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay safe and secure.
However
, they are not
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
as per the salary structure which
is known
to everyone.

Money is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as it gives that boost and motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn even better. A worker should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
according to their efforts towards that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and not
merely
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
popularty
they gain.

To conclude
, there should be equal distribution of money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations towards distributing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of wages as deserved by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
based on factors like qualification, experience, talent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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