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Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v.9

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 9
More and more individuals are moving forwards to buy branded products because big merchants spent huge amounts in sales and marketing. The main problem this cause is it destroys the local markets and the most viable solution is to promote and give incentives to the small entrepreneurs. The principle problem associates with this is the local products are becoming out of the market. The people who used to invest and build a small company are no longer findings any motivation because of continuous lose and there is no bright future. As a result, there might be a time when the next generation will not see local handicrafts or sewed clothes. For example, four or five decades ago, in Bangladesh, the local clothes makers used to make clothes name 'The Muslin' for the whole nation and it received many international praised. However, there is no Muslin and the business is dying, few people still trying to invest and earning no profit. To tackle this problem the government should give more subsidies on raw materials, no value added tax on local products and motivate people by exporting. It is important to have the ingredients in low price before producing anything. In addition, local authorities direct involvement is necessary to create a market place locally and internationally. For instance, we could talk about the Philippines. In there local pearl jewelleries as well as handicrafts products are promoted by the government and they are well renowned in all over the world. Without the proper help and assistance from the Philippines Tourism Association it would not be possible. In conclusion, branded things from big companies are very luxurious and people are very keen to buy them. It is creating problems for small and medium entrepreneurs to invest on local products and the way this can be resolved by investing a lot on this from the government.
More and more individuals are moving forwards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
merchants spent huge amounts in sales and marketing. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
this cause is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets and the most viable solution is to promote and give incentives to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
entrepreneurs.

The principle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
associates with this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are becoming out of the market.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to invest and build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
are no longer findings any motivation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of continuous lose and there is no bright future.
As a result
, there might be a time when the
next
generation will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
handicrafts or sewed clothes.
For example
, four or five decades ago, in Bangladesh, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
clothes makers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
clothes name 'The Muslin' for the whole nation and it received
Possible agreement error. The noun international seems to be countable; consider using: "many internationals".
many international
praised.
However
, there is no Muslin and the business is dying, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
trying to invest and earning no profit.

To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give more subsidies on raw materials, no value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by exporting. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have the ingredients in low price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
producing anything.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities direct involvement is necessary to create a market place
locally
and
internationally
.
For instance
, we could talk about the Philippines. In
Did you mean "their"?
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
pearl
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelleries
as well
as handicrafts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are promoted
by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
government and
they are well renowned in all over the world. Without the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and assistance from the Philippines Tourism Association it would not be possible.

In conclusion
, branded things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
luxurious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. It is creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and medium entrepreneurs to invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the way this can
be resolved
by investing a lot on this from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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