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Some people feel that entertainers (e. g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.11

Some people feel that entertainers (e. g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? v. 11
For every human being entertainment is a part of their life. It relaxes the mind and the body. To keep everyone entertained, there are different groups of people who makes us feel better whenever we are depressed. In my opinion, I completely agree that these entertainers should be paid with a better price. Moreover, I believe that the research jobs in the field of medicine and space also should be paid with a decent amount. Firstly, in this modern epoch, the films are more advanced with the latest technologies which make the user to rate them with a splendid review. In order to remember the scenes in their mind, the filmmakers and producers enrich the system with the beautiful songs and the videos. For example, the film named 'The Bond 007' was worth to watch as the direction and the action scenes were directed with the risky shots. As a result, the wages should be more than anyone in the movie. Secondly, the dedication in the respective field of every entertainer should be considered, as they spend their days with hard work. In addition to this, they perform their act for their country and they want everyone in the world to remember them proudly with their performance. For instance, the sports person named 'Sachin Tendulkar' the famous cricketer who achieved a greater role in raising the play of cricket and the name of his country India. This results in such a way that the sportsmen like him should be considered more with the annual income. In conclusion, the entertainment varies in different methods in different countries and with the consideration of their individual hard work the wages should be paid accordingly.
For every human being entertainment is a part of their life. It relaxes the mind and the body. To
keep
everyone entertained, there are
different
groups of
people
who
makes
us feel better whenever we
are depressed
. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that these entertainers should
be paid
with a better price.
Moreover
, I believe that the research jobs in the field of medicine and space
also
should
be paid
with a decent amount.

Firstly
, in this modern epoch, the films are more advanced with the latest technologies which
make
the user to rate them with a splendid review. In order to remember the scenes in their mind, the filmmakers and producers enrich the system with the
beautiful
songs and the videos.
For example
, the film named 'The Bond 007' was worth to
watch
as the direction and the action scenes
were directed
with the risky shots.
As a result
, the wages should be more than anyone in the movie.

Secondly
, the dedication in the respective field of every entertainer should
be considered
, as they spend their days with
hard
work.
In addition
to this, they perform their act for their
country and
they want everyone in the world to remember them
proudly
with their performance.
For instance
, the sports person named '
Sachin
Tendulkar
' the
famous
cricketer who achieved a greater role in raising the play of cricket and the name of his country India. This results in such a way that the sportsmen like him should
be considered
more with the annual income.

In conclusion
, the entertainment varies in
different
methods in
different
countries and with the consideration of their individual
hard
work the wages should
be paid
accordingly
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers (e. g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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