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Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. v.8

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. v. 8
As we know there are many professions and jobs around us and based on its category workers are paid for that. Whereas a worker can be efficient in one or two jobs but would not be able to do all types of jobs. People who are efficient in their works, for example, doctors, nurses, teachers, and actors play important roles in our day to day life. Though they are the backbone of our society and are involved in life-saving activities and educating others but they are very less paid for the works they do. The average income for a high school teacher every month in India is 15000Rs. A medical practitioner gets a salary of 25000Rs every month. Hence if we compare the average income of these professionals with a film actor or any celebrity, it's almost negligible. Moreover, professionals like actors are not involved in physical and mental work. They just entertain people and charge crores for each assignment which brings discrimination in work and divides society into multiple classes; for example lower, middle and upper class. Hence, poor people always remain under poverty which brings serious threats to a society like unemployment, robbery, illiteracy etc. I understand that entertainment is also an important part of life, but we should define and divide the level of work as per salary, the effort given by someone and also how does it impact on someone's life. We should also think about the savings made by someone, it should not carry forward from generation to generation; everyone should be given a chance to grow and earn enough money to lead a good life. Differentiation based on earnings can bring many disasters and put us in soup.
As we know there are
many
professions and jobs around us and based on its category workers
are paid
for that. Whereas a worker can be efficient in one or two jobs
but
would not be able to do all types of jobs.
People
who are efficient in their works,
for example
, doctors, nurses, teachers, and actors play
important
roles in our
day to day
life.

Though they are the backbone of our society and
are involved
in life-saving activities and educating others
but
they are
very
less paid for the works they do. The average income for a high school teacher every month in India is 15000Rs. A medical practitioner
gets
a salary of 25000Rs every month.
Hence
if we compare the average income of these professionals with a film actor or any celebrity, it's almost negligible.

Moreover
, professionals like actors are not involved in physical and mental
work
. They
just
entertain
people
and charge crores for each assignment which brings discrimination in
work
and divides society into multiple classes;
for example
lower, middle and upper
class
.
Hence
, poor
people
always remain under poverty which brings serious threats to a society like unemployment, robbery, illiteracy etc.

I understand that entertainment is
also
an
important
part of life,
but
we should define and divide the level of
work
as per salary, the effort
given
by someone and
also
how does it impact on someone's life. We should
also
think
about the savings made by someone, it should not carry forward from generation to generation; everyone should be
given
a chance to grow and earn
enough
money to lead a
good
life. Differentiation based on earnings can bring
many
disasters and put us in soup.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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