Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v.4

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 4
Some people believe that workers belonging to the category of movie actors or corporate heads are valued more and paid salaries which are much more than the salaries paid out to other workers such as nurses, doctors and teachers, even though these people are involved in the much more important work. I completely agree with the above mentioned statement and believe that the salary of any worker should be calculated basis how important is their work for the survival of human beings. To start with, workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers receive much less salary than corporate heads or film actors. For example, the average salary of a teacher in India is INR 10 lakh whereas the average salary of a Chief Executive Officer is INR 1 crore. This huge discrepancy in salary is due to the fact that the work of movie actors or corporate management is valued much more by the society than teachers, nurses and doctors even though these workers are much more important for the survival of human beings as compared to movie actors or coporate heads. One of the possible solution to the above problem is to decide the salary of a worker basis how important their work is for the survival of human beings. For example, doctors and nurses are clearly extremely important for survival of human beings since they help in making human being fitter and better. Similarly, teachers help in developing the future of the human race, which is an extremely important profession. In comparison to these workers, the work of movie actors and corporate heads is less important for the survival of human beings. To conclude, I completely agree that workers such as doctors, teachers and nurses are valued less by the society as compared to film actors or corporate heads since these workers are paid salaries which are much less than the salaries paid out to famous people or corporate executives. A plausible solution to the above mentioned problem can be linking the salary of a professional to the importance of that profession towards the survival of human beings. This will not only help in improving the salaries paid out to doctors, nurses and teachers but will also result in better value being provided by society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
belonging to the category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
heads
are valued
more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
out to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
even though
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above mentioned statement and believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
should
be calculated
basis how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
heads or film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
.
For example
, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in India is INR 10 lakh whereas the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a Chief Executive Officer is INR 1 crore. This huge discrepancy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is due to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
management
is valued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more by the society than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
even though
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
coporate
heads.

One of the possible solution to the above problem is to decide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
basis how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
are
clearly
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being fitter and better.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in developing the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race, which is an
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
profession.
In comparison
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
heads is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

To conclude
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
are valued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
by the society as compared to film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
heads since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
out to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
executives. A plausible solution to the above mentioned problem can be linking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a professional to the importance of that profession towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survival
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nurses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
result in better value
being provided
by society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
97Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts