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Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v.4

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 4
Some people believe that workers belonging to the category of movie actors or corporate heads are valued more and paid salaries which are much more than the salaries paid out to other workers such as nurses, doctors and teachers, even though these people are involved in the much more important work. I completely agree with the above mentioned statement and believe that the salary of any worker should be calculated basis how important is their work for the survival of human beings. To start with, workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers receive much less salary than corporate heads or film actors. For example, the average salary of a teacher in India is INR 10 lakh whereas the average salary of a Chief Executive Officer is INR 1 crore. This huge discrepancy in salary is due to the fact that the work of movie actors or corporate management is valued much more by the society than teachers, nurses and doctors even though these workers are much more important for the survival of human beings as compared to movie actors or coporate heads. One of the possible solution to the above problem is to decide the salary of a worker basis how important their work is for the survival of human beings. For example, doctors and nurses are clearly extremely important for survival of human beings since they help in making human being fitter and better. Similarly, teachers help in developing the future of the human race, which is an extremely important profession. In comparison to these workers, the work of movie actors and corporate heads is less important for the survival of human beings. To conclude, I completely agree that workers such as doctors, teachers and nurses are valued less by the society as compared to film actors or corporate heads since these workers are paid salaries which are much less than the salaries paid out to famous people or corporate executives. A plausible solution to the above mentioned problem can be linking the salary of a professional to the importance of that profession towards the survival of human beings. This will not only help in improving the salaries paid out to doctors, nurses and teachers but will also result in better value being provided by society.
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Some
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people
believe that
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workers
belonging to the category of
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movie
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actors
or
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corporate
heads
are valued
more and
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paid
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salaries
which are
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much
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salaries
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paid
out to other
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workers
such as
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nurses
,
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doctors
and
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teachers
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even though
these
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people
are involved
in the
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much
more
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important
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work
. I completely
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agree
with the above mentioned statement and believe that the
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salary
of any
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worker
should
be calculated
basis how
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important
is their
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work
for the
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survival
of
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human
beings.

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start
with,
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workers
such as
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doctors
,
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nurses
and
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teachers
receive
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much
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less
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salary
than
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corporate
heads or film
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actors
.
For example
, the average
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salary
of a
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teacher
in India is INR 10 lakh whereas the average
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salary
of a Chief Executive Officer is INR 1 crore. This huge discrepancy in
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salary
is due to the fact that the
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work
of
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movie
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actors
or
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corporate
management
is valued
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much
more by the society than
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teachers
,
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nurses
and
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doctors
even though
these
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workers
are
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much
more
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important
for the
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survival
of
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human
beings as compared to
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movie
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actors
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
coporate
heads.

One of the possible solution to the above problem is to decide the
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salary
of a
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worker
basis how
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important
their
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work
is for the
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survival
of
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human
beings.
For example
,
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doctors
and
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nurses
are
clearly
extremely
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important
for
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survival
of
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human
beings since they
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help
in making
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human
being fitter and better.
Similarly
,
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teachers
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help
in developing the future of the
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human
race, which is an
extremely
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important
profession.
In comparison
to these
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workers
, the
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work
of
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movie
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actors
and
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corporate
heads is
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less
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important
for the
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survival
of
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human
beings.

To conclude
, I completely
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agree
that
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workers
such as
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doctors
,
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teachers
and
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nurses
are valued
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less
by the society as compared to film
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actors
or
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corporate
heads since these
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workers
are
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paid
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salaries
which are
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much
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less
than the
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salaries
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paid
out to
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famous
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people
or
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corporate
executives. A plausible solution to the above mentioned problem can be linking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a professional to the importance of that profession towards the
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survival
of
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human
beings. This will not
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only
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help
in improving the
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salaries
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paid
out to
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doctors
,
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nurses
and
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teachers
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but
will
also
result in better value
being provided
by society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
97Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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