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Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v.3

These days payment or salary for the specialists and actors has been a popular topic. Some people opine that those who work in the field of education, healthcare should pay more money because they are contributed a lot to humanity compare to actress or actors company leaders. This essay will explore and discuss important of health specialists and pedagogical experts in humanity, compare to pay more money to famous people who do nothing for other people. To begin with, the first reason why I agree that those who are working in a crucial field, such as in hospitals and schools should value them and pay much money is due to humanity. Doctors and nurses, for example, they are sacrificing the whole their life for a human being. Therefore, both governments and head of hospitals not only appreciate their work but also increase monthly income. Secondly, teachers have been working traditionally in the field of education. In this case, they have a right to pay more money from the government but should be back up or support from the legislators and society widely. A good example is Poland, which teachers and well-being workers support financially from the government including facilities like accommodation, and transportation. In contrast, actors and actress company leaders should not pay more money because they are just entertainers. Their contribution is not effective and efficient as doctors and teachers. Therefore, it is reasonable if payment for those who are working for public interests than for well-known filmmakers or actors. In conclusion, I believe that there are a plethora of criteria to pay for these people, yet governments support and society's desires on payment can be completely important
These days payment or salary for the specialists and actors has been a popular topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work in the field of education, healthcare should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are contributed
a lot to humanity compare to actress or actors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
leaders. This essay will explore and discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of health specialists and pedagogical experts in humanity, compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do nothing for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in a crucial field, such as in hospitals and schools should value them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is due to humanity. Doctors and nurses,
for example
, they are sacrificing the whole their life for a human being.
Therefore
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and head of hospitals not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
appreciate their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase monthly income.

Secondly
, teachers have been working
traditionally
in the field of education.
In this case
, they have a right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should be back up or support from the legislators and society
widely
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is Poland, which teachers and well-being workers support
financially
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
including facilities like accommodation, and transportation.

In contrast
, actors and actress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
leaders should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertainers. Their contribution is not effective and efficient as doctors and teachers.
Therefore
, it is reasonable if payment for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working for public interests than for well-known filmmakers or actors.

In conclusion
, I believe that there are a plethora of criteria to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
support and society's desires on payment can be completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay • Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. • How far do you agree? • What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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