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Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v.7

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 7
Numerous citizens argue that it might be undervalued for some types of job, likes nurses, doctor, and teachers which should receive higher salaries, meanwhile some entertainment job or CEO are gaining extra money that's out of the ratio of the potential of their duty. It is widely agreed that they should be paid. This essay will examine both sides of the arguments and will support why certain worker should not be undervalued for their workings. Doctor, and teacher are the occupation that needs to attempt so the best, in fact, it is obviously not an easy way. Those jobs seem to sacrifice their time and life. The first important one is that the teacher’ fault has influenced to students because they are being example for them. Teaching whether manner or critical thinking is the correct and suitable way. Another point to consider is doctor and nurse’ duty, due to the treatment of the patient is the biggest responsibility for them. Furthermore, several pressure that they receive and many wishes as well. Due to the fact that they could not avoid threat many patients, the occurrence of accidents are able to have all the time, leading to the expectation situation. On the other hand, there are some arguments why the entertainment or the conductor of several collaborations might be more important of the work that they are. These occupation need to hardly practice and long-standing to be high position or more popular. Due to reason, The CEO properly works harder rather than other positions because they demand to hold several layouts of workers to check and balance, resulting in effective work. Additionally, the actors are similar to our laugh, which can lead viewers to have happiness time and enjoyable for relaxing moment, even we do not know many actors need to have acting events whole day. In conclusion, although this essay is controversial tropic, there are some perspectives about all occupations. Personally, every job lastly attempts to do their best and should have standard of criteria for salary equally. As a suggestion, the government should have some budgets and bonus for teachers and doctors.
Numerous citizens argue that it might
be undervalued
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, likes nurses, doctor, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
which should receive higher salaries, meanwhile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or CEO are gaining extra money that's out of the ratio of the potential of their duty. It is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that they should
be paid
. This essay will examine both sides of the arguments and will support why certain worker should not
be undervalued
for their workings.

Doctor, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
are the occupation that needs to attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the best, in fact, it is
obviously
not an easy way.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
seem to sacrifice their time and life. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’
fault has influenced to students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are being example for them. Teaching whether manner or critical thinking is the correct and suitable way. Another point to consider is doctor and nurse’ duty, due to the treatment of the patient is the biggest responsibility for them.
Furthermore
,
Possible agreement error. The noun pressure seems to be countable; consider using: "several pressures".
several pressure
that they receive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wishes
as well
. Due to the fact that they could not avoid threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patients, the occurrence of accidents are able to have all the time, leading to the expectation situation.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments why the entertainment or the conductor of several collaborations might be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of the work that they are.
Did you mean "this occupation" or "These occupations"?
These occupation
need to hardly practice and long-standing to be high position or more popular. Due to reason, The CEO
properly
works harder
rather
than other positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they demand to hold several layouts of workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and balance, resulting in effective work.
Additionally
, the actors are similar to our laugh, which can lead viewers to have happiness time and enjoyable for relaxing moment, even we do not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actors need to have acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
whole day.

In conclusion
, although this essay is controversial tropic, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
all occupations.

Personally
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
lastly
attempts to do their best and should have standard of criteria for salary
equally
.

As a suggestion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
budgets and bonus for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and doctors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? v. 7

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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