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some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides and reach a conclusion v.2

some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides and reach a conclusion v. 2
Some people consider that sending children to boarding school is a good idea. A major share of society favours it. However, rest averse it. This essay will give reasons to why some people feel that it is an excellent idea and also it will discuss why some people oppose the idea. One main advantage of boarding school is that children will be more disciplined. For example, children will do their own work, like cleaning their beds, washing their clothes and preparing themselves for the exams. In other words, they will be independent. In addition to this, they will take care everything without being dependent on anyone. Therefore, boarding school is the best option for children in order to know things on their own. On the other hand, many people disagree with the statement that students should be sent to boarding schools for various reasons. Firstly, they think children will be out of hand, meaning, children will no longer listen to their parents. For example, recent studies have revealed that, children after finishing their course from boarding school usually dont respect their parents, they think that those children were burden for the parents and this is the reason why they put them into boarding schools. Secondly, children will not know their religious values as those values are not taught in boarding schools. For instance, when to pray and when to fast. This is in the case of muslim children. Thus, Boarding school is not a better idea for children. In conclusion, children should always be with their parents. Although they will not be independent but they will always have a support from their parents staying with them. Moreover, various cultural and religious thoughts can be learnt from parents because parents are the first teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. A major share of society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
it.
However
, rest averse it. This essay will give reasons to why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that it is an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
also
it will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

One main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more disciplined.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work, like cleaning their beds, washing their clothes and preparing themselves for the exams.
In other words
, they will be independent.
In addition
to this, they will take care everything without being dependent on anyone.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order to know things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with the statement that students should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for various reasons.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be out of hand, meaning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will no longer listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, recent studies have revealed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after finishing their course from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
usually
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were burden for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and this is the reason why they put them into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not know their religious values as those values are not taught in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For instance
, when to pray and when to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. This is in the case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for children.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should always be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Although they will not be independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will always have a support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
staying with them.
Moreover
, various cultural and religious thoughts can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
teachers.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides and reach a conclusion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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