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Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
There has been a huge evolution in the field of machinery. The automation of machinery has some positive aspects, such as a reduction in time and is more economical. However, some negative aspects are unemployment. In my essay I will share both the aspects. There are two main benefits that are gained from automation of machinery. To begin with, it has helped us in reducing the time taken for production. With the advancement of technology the time taken to produce products is much lesser as compared to work done by humans manually. For example, In the Pepsi company the packaging is done by automated machines. Secondly, machines produce huge quantities which makes it more economical. When the machines produce huge quantities, it becomes more cost-effective. The huge productions can also be exported which can add as a revenue for the company. Hence, automation of machinery not only reduces the time taken but it also proves to be very economical. On the other hand, there are some downsides to this. With automation of machinery there is much less human intervention. As most of the machines are programmed to function a certain way, the same does not need the presence of a man. This has led to job cutting across many industrial units. There is a direct impact on the growth of our economy. Furthermore, unemployment can cause various many problems, such as a decrease in the standard of living, increase in crime rates with can be very detrimental, for the society. In conclusion, automation of machinery has transformed to a large extent which reduce the time and is more economical. However, the right balance of both is critical for the growth of the economy.
There has been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
evolution in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, such as a reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and is more economical.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects are unemployment. In my essay I will share both the aspects.

There are two main benefits that
are gained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taken for production. With the advancement of technology the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taken to produce products is much lesser
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to work done by humans
manually
.
For example
, In the Pepsi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
the packaging
is done
by automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
quantities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more economical. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
quantities, it becomes more cost-effective. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
productions can
also
be exported
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
as a revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
proves to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
economical.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides to this. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
there is much less human intervention. As most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are programmed
to function a certain way, the same does not need the presence of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. This has led to job cutting across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrial units. There is a direct impact on the growth of our economy.
Furthermore
, unemployment can cause various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, such as a decrease in the standard of living, increase in crime rates with can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental, for the society.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
has transformed to a large extent which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and is more economical.
However
, the right balance of both is critical for the growth of the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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