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Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.3

Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 3
These days Some people believe that universities should give more fund for the sports activities. They claim that importance of libraries and sports are the same. However, others state that main aptitude of educational institutions is to provide lofty education and must invest handsome amount for the betterment of libraries I completely agree that universities should give the same amount of pay to their students' sports activity as they give to their institutional library will support my opinion with examples First of all, not every student is a scholar, that means everyone has a hobby and not everyone likes studying. There are some students who prefer sports over studies and they even excel in the sports. Because of such students, the educational establishment should spend an equal amount of payment to build up good playgrounds, hire a good sports coach and spend on other such activities. My friends personal experience is a compelling example of this. From the very beginning of the college, he had realized that he was not good at studies, so he used to bunk classes and go to the basketball court to practice his favourite sport. On the other hand His parents were always worried that he would never be able to get into a good secondary school for post graduation. By the end of the year, he was taken on the College's basketball team because of his excellent performance in the Inter-college match and due to his outstanding record in sports, he got admission in one of the top educational organisation of management. In Conclusion, Of course good libraries are also important for universities. A good library with its large collection of books is the pride and symbol of a prominent organization I would like to say sports activities being as important as studies, should get the same funding as does the educational foundation's libraries
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that universities should give more fund for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities. They claim that importance of libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the same.
However
, others state that main aptitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions is to provide lofty education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest handsome amount for the betterment of libraries I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that universities should give the same amount of pay to their students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activity as they give to their institutional library will support my opinion with examples

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, not every student is a scholar, that means everyone has a hobby and not everyone likes studying. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
over studies and they even excel in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of such students, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
establishment should spend an equal amount of payment to build up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
playgrounds, hire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
coach and spend on other such activities.

My friends personal experience is a compelling example of this. From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of the college, he had realized that he was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to bunk classes and go to the basketball court to practice his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
On the other hand
His parents were always worried that he would never be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
secondary school for post graduation. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year, he
was taken
on the College's basketball team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his excellent performance in the Inter-college match and due to his outstanding record in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission in one of the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
of management.

In Conclusion
,
Of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
libraries are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for universities. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
library with its large collection of books is the pride and symbol of a prominent
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
I would like to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities being as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as studies, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same funding as does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
foundation's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
libraries
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people exercise early in the morning. Others exercise in the afternoon or evening. Which time of day do you think is better for exercising and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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