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Some people enjoy traveling around their own countries while others prefer traveling abroad. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

Some people enjoy traveling around their own countries while others prefer traveling abroad. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
A Source of learning is an important aspect of society. It is believed by a significant number of people that the scientific technology will replace the conventional libraries and investing money in them is a disaster idea. I completely disagree with the above notion and believe that fund should be allocated to improve existing libraries. My perception is explained further along with a relevant example. The first and foremost benefit of conventional learning is to get authentic information on a particular subject. For example, online materials have various answers of solitary topic, which may generate more doubt in the mind of readers, whereas library have a relevant books with trusted information. This is to say that the textbooks and magazines in a library are stored after a strong research, so that everyone can trust them in regard of obtaining a right source of information. Therefore, libraries are essential for all the individuals who are interested in reading. Furthermore, allocating funds for book room may help in improving the current technology by installing computers in order to find access various other aspects of a particular topic. To exemplify, Indian government has announced a certain quota of the fund in reconstructing book centre by making it more digital. However, computers can restrict the individuals to pursue towards libraries, because they are having the same sort of data at their fingertips and all the materials are readily and conveniently available. For instance, the location of the libraries is in a fixed place and accommodation of the people is at the far side, then they will rely on computers rather going there. In conclusion, a scientific device may provide convenience in terms of knowledge gathering; however, originality of the libraries cannot be compared with the modern technology and are needed to provide a truthful information.
A Source of learning is an
important
aspect of society. It
is believed
by a significant number of
people
that the scientific technology will replace the conventional libraries and investing money in them is a disaster
idea
. I completely disagree with the above notion and believe that fund should
be allocated
to
improve
existing libraries. My perception is
explained
further
along with a relevant example.

The
first
and foremost benefit of conventional learning is to
get
authentic
information
on a particular subject.
For example
, online materials have various answers of solitary topic, which may generate more doubt in the mind of readers, whereas library have a relevant
books
with trusted
information
. This is to say that the textbooks and magazines in a library
are stored
after a strong research,
so
that everyone can trust them in regard of obtaining a right source of
information
.
Therefore
, libraries are essential for all the individuals who
are interested
in reading.

Furthermore
, allocating funds for book room may
help
in improving the
current
technology by installing computers in order to find access various other aspects of a particular topic. To exemplify, Indian
government
has announced a certain quota of the fund in reconstructing book
centre
by making it more digital.

However
, computers can restrict the individuals to pursue towards libraries,
because
they are having the same sort of data at their fingertips and all the materials are
readily
and
conveniently
available.
For instance
, the location of the libraries is in a
fixed
place and accommodation of the
people
is at the far side, then they will rely on computers
rather
going there.

In conclusion
, a scientific device may provide convenience in terms of knowledge gathering;
however
, originality of the libraries cannot
be compared
with the modern technology and
are needed
to provide a truthful
information
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people enjoy traveling around their own countries while others prefer traveling abroad. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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