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Independent speaking ( question 2)Do you think it is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response v.1

Independent speaking ( question 2)Do you think it is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response v. 1
In the current era, it is often said that fame is of prime importance, but, is it true for everyone? A large section of society believes that being an eminent personality has a plethora of merits, however, few others trust that it brings more trouble to oneself. In my perspective, the advantages of this clearly outweigh its disadvantages. This essay will shed some light on the plausible rationale behind supporting this point. The prominent advantage of being a celebrity is that belief of society which eventually bring more opportunities to grow, develop and influence the community. It has been observed that such personalities have the ability to bring the change to the masses which can be good or bad. To exemplify, an Indian film star named Akshay Kumar started a campaign for supporting families of national military employees, which caught the fire so quickly that the government had to increase the budget of the retirement plans of ex-military employees. Moreover, because of so large fan-following, big brand targets such personalities to get their brands endorsed and they pay well for the same. For instance, a Hollywood star named Tom Cruise charged 1 million US dollars for promoting Nestle coffee. Hence, getting fame is considered as the stepping stone for a better livelihood. In addition to the above, becoming a public figure could bring so much respect as famous personalities are the prestige and glory of any nation. Being a sports person, one gets many chances to represent their nation in several international events such as "The Olympic Games", "Asian Games" which give pride to one's family, community, city, state, etc. For example, all Indians, especially South Indians respect the current Microsoft CEO named Satya Nadela as he belongs to South India. Furthermore, such people can easily opt for a helping a country in its economic growth by organising various charity events or promoting new government policies for free. To illustrate, Ricky Pointing, an Australian Cricket Batsman, endorsed proper utilisation of dustbins in 2008 which brought changes in the society. Therefore, it is honourable to be a public face. To recapitulate, becoming a celebrity is a two edged sword which brings merits and demerits. Nevertheless, the issues of having public recognition such as no personal life, late night parties can be controlled by taking some simple measure of discipline so that one can avail only the profound benefits of being famous personality. Thus, one should keep working hard to achieve the fame.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that fame is of prime importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, is it true for everyone? A large section of society believes that being an eminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
has a plethora of merits,
however
, few others trust that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
more trouble to oneself. In my perspective, the advantages of this
clearly
outweigh its disadvantages. This essay will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the plausible rationale behind supporting this point.

The prominent advantage of being a celebrity is that belief of society which
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more opportunities to grow, develop and influence the community. It has
been observed
that such personalities have the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the masses which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. To exemplify, an Indian film star named Akshay Kumar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a campaign for supporting families of national military employees, which caught the fire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had to increase the budget of the retirement plans of ex-military employees.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
large fan-following,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
brand targets such personalities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their brands
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
endorsed and
they pay well for the same.
For instance
, a Hollywood star named Tom Cruise charged 1 million US dollars for promoting Nestle coffee.
Hence
, getting fame
is considered
as the stepping stone for a better livelihood.

In addition
to the above, becoming a public figure could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much respect as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities are the prestige and glory of any nation. Being a sports person, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to represent their nation in several international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Olympic Games
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Asian Games
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which give pride to one's family, community, city, state, etc.
For example
, all Indians,
especially
South Indians respect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Microsoft CEO named Satya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nadela
as he belongs to South India.
Furthermore
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
opt for a helping a country in its economic growth by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
various charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or promoting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies for free. To illustrate, Ricky Pointing, an Australian Cricket Batsman, endorsed proper
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of dustbins in 2008 which brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the society.
Therefore
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
to be a public face.

To recapitulate, becoming a celebrity is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
two edged
sword which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
merits and demerits.
Nevertheless
, the issues of having public recognition such as no personal life, late night parties can
be controlled
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple measure of discipline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that one can avail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the profound benefits of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
Thus
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve the fame.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent speaking ( question 2)Do you think it is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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