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The majority of people travel for different reasons and their decision is influenced by the purpose of the travel. Some people believe that traveling domestically is easier and more convenient than traveling to foreign countries. While others argue that v.2

The majority of people travel for different reasons and their decision is influenced by the purpose of the travel. Some people believe that traveling domestically is easier and more convenient than traveling to foreign countries. While others argue that v. 2
The majority of people travel for different reasons and their decision is influenced by the purpose of the travel. Some people believe that traveling domestically is easier and more convenient than traveling to foreign countries. While others argue that traveling to foreign countries is more interesting. Personally, I think that traveling to foreign countries is more interesting and exciting. One of the reasons why it’s better to travel overseas is because we get to learn new things that could benefit us more. If we go to another place that is different from our own, It would give us more pleasure because we are exploring something that is unfamiliar to us. Even though, traveling to places which are full of adventure and really exciting, it’s very expensive. For example, I remember my cousin took a trip overseas after he saved some money, but he never thought that the amount that he spend was going to be double the amount that he saved. Because of that, traveling overseas is well-worth it despite the cost. The other reason is because going to foreign countries gives people an opportunity to look for a new job and place to live. If people find what they think is better for them in another country than in their own, they might prefer to move there without any hesitation. For instance, I came to the United States because I had a job opportunity which I liked a lot. So that made me to decide to move overseas. That' s why, the opportunities that people find in foreign places could benefit them more. Summing up, I believe that traveling to foreign countries would give people more alternatives and opportunities to explore rather than just traveling locally. Meanwhile it is more interesting because people could learn more about things and cultures that they didn' t know before.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons and their decision
is influenced
by the purpose of the travel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that traveling
domestically
is easier and more convenient than traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others argue that traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is more interesting.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is more interesting and exciting.

One of the reasons why it’s better to travel overseas is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn new things that could benefit us more. If we go to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, It would give us more pleasure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are exploring something
that is
unfamiliar to us.
Even though
, traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which are full of adventure and
really
exciting, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
For example
, I remember my cousin took a trip overseas after he saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the amount that he spend was going to be double the amount that he saved.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, traveling overseas is well-worth it despite the cost.

The other reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to look for a new job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is better for them in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they might prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there without any hesitation.
For instance
, I came to the United States
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had a job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
which I liked a lot.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
made me to decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overseas.

Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s why, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
could benefit them more.

Summing up, I believe that traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more alternatives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to explore
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
traveling
locally
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
it is more interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could learn more about things and cultures that they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The majority of people travel for different reasons and their decision is influenced by the purpose of the travel. Some people believe that traveling domestically is easier and more convenient than traveling to foreign countries. While others argue that v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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