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For the past few years, the daily campus newspaper has included a one-page international news section covering a few of the major stories in world news. Starting next month, the section will be eliminated. One of the reasons the newspaper editors gave for v.1

For the past few years, the daily campus newspaper has included a one-page international news section covering a few of the major stories in world news. Starting next month, the section will be eliminated. One of the reasons the newspaper editors gave for v. 1
Many university students routinely study in other institutes around the world as part of their degree. Although students will often struggle with cultural and linguistic challenges while abroad, they will also gain significant life experience that will reward them later on in their careers. In my opinion, students are far better off having studied in a different country, despite the challenges that they will inevitably face. The greatest benefit of studying abroad is that students will have life experiences that will improve themselves as people that would have been otherwise impossible if they had only studied in their own countries. Being in another country requires people to push themselves beyond the norm into unusually difficult experiences. For example, when I studied in Indonesia and India as a twenty-year-old, I was continuously pushed put of my comfort zone into psychological states that were unique and novel, and that I had to adapt no matter what. These ultra-challenging experiences are paradoxically the main advantage of studying overseas because they make you grow as a person. The main challenges that students will face while overseas will usually stem from cultural and linguistic differences. These differences can pore massive obstacles for people because they require one to move beyond the familiar and into the unknown which can often be awkward and quite scary. For instance, while studying in Indonesia I had to frequently make a fool of myself in order to communicate with the local people in their language. Oftentimes, I feel embarrassed. To conclude, studying overseas has become incredibly common. While students will no doubt experience more social and language barriers, it is in fact, these barriers that lead to the main advantage of studying abroad which is personal growth. As a contradiction of sorts, it is the hardship that ultimately makes the experience of studying abroad more advantageous then disadvantageous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
routinely
study in other institutes around the world as part of their degree. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
struggle with cultural and linguistic challenges while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, they will
also
gain significant life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that will reward them later on in their careers. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are far better off having studied in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country, despite the challenges that they will
inevitably
face.

The greatest benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that would have been
otherwise
impossible if they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studied in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries. Being in another country requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to push themselves beyond the norm into
unusually
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For example
, when I studied in Indonesia and India as a twenty-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I was
continuously
pushed put of my comfort zone into psychological states that were unique and novel, and that I had to adapt no matter what. These ultra-challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are
paradoxically
the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you grow as a person.

The main challenges that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will face while overseas will
usually
stem from cultural and linguistic differences. These differences can pore massive obstacles for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they require one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
beyond the familiar and into the unknown which can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be awkward and quite scary.
For instance
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in Indonesia I had to
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fool of myself in order to communicate with the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their language. Oftentimes, I feel embarrassed.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas has become
incredibly
common. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
more social and language barriers, it is in fact, these barriers that lead to the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
which is personal growth. As a contradiction of sorts, it is the hardship that
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
more advantageous
Did you mean "than"?
then
disadvantageous.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay For the past few years, the daily campus newspaper has included a one-page international news section covering a few of the major stories in world news. Starting next month, the section will be eliminated. One of the reasons the newspaper editors gave for v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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