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Some people decided to have children in their late age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Some people decided to have children in their late age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
These days, some individuals made decisions to have kids when they are older compared to the past. This is owing to their preoccupation with career pursuits. This essay will argue that the benefits of this trend offset the drawbacks, as older parents are more mature and financially stable to raise children. An important reason why some people decided to have kids in their late age is because of concerns for their career progress. In other words, some believe believe that children can be a source of distraction when they are at the early stages of their work. For instance, some female doctors in Nigeria delay having their first child until they have been promoted to a senior level. This has resulted in some people bearing children when they are older. Thus, if young professionals are less concern about progression in their career, they would have had kids at a younger age. One commonly cited disadvantage of people giving birth and raising children at a older age compared to the past is the associated health risks. Maternal and Child morbidity and mortality increase with the age of the parents coupled with the occurrence of genetic abnormalities. For example, Down syndrome and similar problems are common in children of mothers older than 35 years. This risks are reduced when couples have children at a younger age. Despite this, there are a number of significant advantages of giving birth and raising kids at a older age. First of all, many people are more financially bouyant with increase in age. Thus, they can provide for both the basic needs of their children as well as meet desires like sound education and healthcare for their young ones. This occurs because many older couples are at the senior level or at the peak of their profession. Furthermore, older parents are better able to cope with the stress of raising kids compared to younger couples. This is due to the fact that they are more mature and they worry less on things such as education, cost of living and work stress. This makes them to take proper care of their children. In conclusion, some couples do not have children until an older age so as to focus on their career. Although they and their kids may be later expose to health problems, many people are more mature to take care of young ones and financially stable in their later years. On the balance, there are more advantages compared to the disadvantages of the decision to have children when a person is older.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals made decisions to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
compared to the past. This is owing to their preoccupation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
pursuits. This essay will argue that the benefits of this trend offset the drawbacks, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
parents are more mature and
financially
stable to raise children.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in their late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of concerns for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
progress.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible typo: you repeated a word
believe believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be a source of distraction when they are at the early stages of their work.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
female doctors in Nigeria delay having their
first
child until they have
been promoted
to a senior level. This has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
Thus
, if young professionals are less concern about progression in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, they would have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at a younger age.

One
commonly
cited disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
giving birth and raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
compared to the past is the associated health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. Maternal and Child morbidity and mortality increase with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the parents coupled with the occurrence of genetic abnormalities.
For example
, Down syndrome and similar problems are common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than 35 years.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a younger age.

Despite this, there are a number of significant advantages of giving birth and raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more
financially
Possible spelling mistake found.
bouyant
with increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Thus
, they can provide for both the basic needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
desires like sound education and healthcare for their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are at the senior level or at the peak of their profession.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
parents are better able to cope with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
compared to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
.
This is due to the fact that
they are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mature and
they worry less on things such as education, cost of living and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to take proper care of their children.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Although they and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
may be later expose to health problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more mature to take care of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and
financially
stable in their later years. On the balance, there are more advantages compared to the disadvantages of the decision to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people decided to have children in their late age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
425 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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